Please help yourself to all my treasured possessions

"Ok, guys," said burglar #1, "Janna's going to be house-sitting for a couple days. Let's steal all we can while she's gone. What did you find?"

"I found lots of bran cereal."

"Here's a hairball the cat threw up."

"A broken VCR?"

"This milk expired six days ago."

"Sigh. Never mind. Let's go rob someone else."
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Yes, it's true. I'll be house-sitting for Mom & Dad while they go on vacation. They won't be back til Sunday. But don't worry; I'll still make a few trips back & forth to my house to make sure everything is still bolted down. (Well, maybe not the cats...)
I'll do my best to check e-mail and blog comments. I also hope to post at least a few things on Tumblr while I'm gone.
Speaking of my Tumblr blog-- here; check out this post where I swear Michael Stipe looks exactly like Zoot from the Muppets.
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Things I discovered over the weekend

1. Walking aimlessly around the cemetery is good exercise, plus it lets you see strange creepy forms of moss that you didn't previously know existed.

2. New socks are wonderfully comfortable, and they help your feet to forget about some of the injustices in the world.

3. Tumblr is a strange place. I created an account there so I could post all I wanted about R.E.M. (And therefore bore you slightly less often with my obsession.) Tumblr is nothing like Blogger or Wordpress or any other blogging system I've seen. You don't leave comments on people's stuff there; you actually re-blog what they did, and it shows up on your own Tumblr page. That would be the equivalent of me deciding I liked your blog post, and copying and pasting the whole thing word for word here on The Jannaverse. It would probably tick you off, yet somehow on Tumblr it's considered a compliment. There's no way to leave text comments on anyone's posts. You either re-blog it, or you click on the "like" button. Weird.
The irony is that I've had that account for only a couple days, yet I already get more "comments" (re-blogs and likes) per post than I usually get here at the Jannaverse.
I guess there are a lot of R.E.M. fans and Mike Mills fans on Tumblr.
It's a strange and different place... and yet, I'm growing increasingly fond of it. It makes it really easy to quickly share things like videos and multiple picture sets. I like how it automatically arranges the pictures in a neat style.
Anyway, if any of you care about my R.E.M. obsession enough to want to see multiple pictures and videos of Mike Mills, or if you're interested in seeing a blog where I have not (yet) mentioned farts, here's my new Tumblr blog called "Jangst". (because "angst" is so much better when it's spelled with a "J".)

4. Dead mice start to stink after awhile.

5. When you're trying to sleep in, your cat will make as much noise as possible through a variety of creative methods, including but not limited to earth-shattering meows, crinkling plastic bags, walking over papers, and fighting with the only other cat in the house.
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Pass me the bacon and no one will get hurt.

It's finally over!
I refer, of course, to my week of vegetarianism.

I posted about it every day on Jantrails, where the vast majority of humanity has no clue I exist.
I swear, I could rob a bank over there, and no one would even notice.

For anyone who might conceivably care, here is how the week went.

Monday: The day when I explained why you're probably not wearing pants

Tuesday: The day when I fantasized about swimming in bacon

Wednesday: The day when I ate one of the worst soups ever invented

Thursday: A quiet day when I admitted that I hate monkeys

Friday: Sorry about the drooling and slobbering.

Saturday: Sorry about all your broken bones. I'm still trying to figure out a way to write about the camel urine.

Sunday: A truly bizarre day when I ate absolutely nothing EXCEPT fruits and vegetables. Not even any bread or dairy. Come to think of it, this actually qualified as vegan. And we all know how crazy I turned out after trying a week of THAT.
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Just think, when I wake up on Monday, I'll be able to dance in carnivorous glee once again.
I'm thinking of inventing a new dance called "The Electric Pepperoni".
It involves a pizza and an oven and a lot of chewing.
Not much dancing, actually, now that I think about it.
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I can see them slipping already

If you've just realized that you're not wearing pants, this might be the reason.
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Manic Monday: Office

I almost skipped today's post, just because I'm not feeling quite so well.
Kinda headachey and super-tired, and my bones hurt, and my muscles hurt...
Just in case I have four hours to live, it was nice knowing you.

Anyway....

The Manic Monday theme is "office".
I am totally going to cop out and post a cartoon instead of writing something of my own.
On the bright side, though, it IS a Dilbert cartoon.
(Click to enlarge if needed)


On Jantics today, I explained why I like Dilbert cartoons so much.
And on Jantrails, I posted some rambling incoherent thing about office supplies.

Certainly I'll be embarrassed at my lack of blogospherical integrity in a few days, but for now, I'm going back to bed.
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Barn owls prefer Klingon instead

Things the letters BOUNTY could stand for:

1. Burned Out... Utilizing New Technology Yearly
2. Barn Owls Usually Never Translate Yiddish
3. Body Odor Universally? No Thank You!
4. Burnt Ostrich, Unfortunately, Never Tastes Yummy
5. Bless Our Usual Nightly Taco Yearnings
6. Bellowing Out Unsightly Nervous Twitches = Yodeling!
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If you're in the mood for a different sort of post, feel free to head on over to Jantics, where you can tell me what I should call my new (imaginary) restaurant.
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Then, of course, there's always my Jantrails post, where I hope I don't get hunted down by a bloodthirsty posse. At least not for anything embarrassing.
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Manic Monday: Nuts

I WANT TO TRY THESE!!!

I love "Dave's Insanity Sauce". It's wonderfully good and hot.
So I can only imagine what his nuts taste like.
Wait.... that didn't come out right....

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And, be sure to visit Jantics today, because you will learn a valuable lesson: Stay away from other people's nuts, because you never know who else has licked them.
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Guess what!

You know I have three blogs: Jannaverse, Jantrails, and Jantics, right? Well, guess what....

Jantics is now on its own domain!
It's now officially "Jantics dot com"!
Pretty cool, huh?

It’s still on WordPress, which means I still get humbling reminders of my woeful inadequacies with HTML and CSS.

Please (pretty please) update your blogrolls from the old address to the new one.
And come visit me at Jantics.com! :)

I have Steve (from band and ABC group) to thank for this. (Thanks, Steve!!)

In a way, The Jannaverse is also on its own domain, sort of. If you type "Jannaverse.com" into your browser, it will re-route back to my "real" URL here at Blogger.
And I have Whall to thank for that. (Thanks, Whall!!)

Group hug!
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Luckily I can still drink it while blogging

As you know if you've been reading Jantrails (here and here and here), I've gotten hooked on iced tea lately. Specifically, sweet iced tea.
I drink it every day.
I find it delicious, plus I'm convinced that even in its sweetened form, it's still MUCH better for me than soda.
There are some activities that are incompatible with the simultaneous consumption of iced tea.
Activities such as the following:

1) Skydiving
2) Water-skiing
3) Somersaults
4) Firing automatic weapons
5) Shark cage diving
6) Yodeling
7) Flying a fighter jet
8) Falling into a volcano
9) Ballet dancing
10) Open heart surgery
11) Alligator wrestling
12) Playing banjo while singing gospel
13) Suffocating in outer space

Therefore, I have vowed to completely avoid all of these activities for the foreseeable future.
I think it'll be worth it.
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Manic Monday: Lick

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
Kitty likes to lick my face
Cute purring shedding mass
And still I can not shake the thought
He also licks his ass
**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
Humans have the softest paper
To wipe us down below
But cats have rough and scratchy tongues
OUCH! What a way to go.
**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
--Janna, July 2008
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See my other blogs for more Manic Monday posts:
Jantics: I wrote a song....
Jantrails: Melting my money away
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Manic Monday: Egg

There were all kinds of things I could have done for today's theme.
I could've shown you a duck egg with a tail on it, or some strange kind of egg-bologna.
Over at Jantrails I show some neat eggshell carvings, and on Jantics I show the abomination known as Bacon-And-Egg Ice Cream.


I could also point out that if Humpty Dumpty and the Monopoly guy ever have a love child, it would look like this:


But instead I think I'll just make a list of
Things That Do NOT Belong In An Omelet:

1. Metal Shavings
2. Hand Sanitizer
3. Curtains
4. Murder Weapons
5. Post-Nasal Drip
6. A Black Hole
7. Suntan Lotion
8. Starfish
9. Sperm Donations
10. Bunny Fur
11. My tonsils
12. Extension Cords
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Oh, and here are two Janna-heads on an egg.
No reason.
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Quick Thoughts

1) If you haven't yet read my request for tech help below, please read it and let me know if you can help solve the mystery of why my pictures are screwed up.

2) If you want Thursday Thirteen, it's at Jantics this week: "Thirteen Signs You're In A Bad Motel."

3) I'm trying to decide which I like better: octagons or rectangles. Octagons kind of annoy me because they remind me of stop signs, but rectangles are a turn-off because they start out sounding like "rectum." So, it's kind of a toss-up.
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Over at Jantics.....

I would appreciate your input on THIS,

Your righteous indignation about THIS,

And a solemn nod of agreement about THIS.

Thank you in advance. I love you all. Especially those of you who have left comments, bought me dinner, offered me chocolate, or perjured yourselves for me before a grand jury.
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