Blissfully ignorant as the smell of pizza wafts through the air

Let it hereby be known that I survived Superbowl Sunday.
The bagel pizzas in my freezer, however, did not. :)
Neither did about half the chicken nuggets.

I hear the Saints won.

Since I'm not a sportsy person, this makes about as much sense as hearing someone say "Wow! Did you catch the Flurgheppian Quiknurt last night? The Samineck Blublubs totally wasted the Nogan Spackledorfs! At first it looked like the Spackledorfs were going to win, but after thirdtime, their looseleaf quartertoes made this spectacular leap across the magnificent 98-millimeter line! I nearly peed my pants!!

On the bright side, I hear there were some interesting commercials for Beige Wizzle Snockers, and the Wherefore Whywhens did a fun halftime thingy.

Congrats to the Blublub fans; my condolences to the Spackledorfs.
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Oooh, look! Nachos and chicken wings!

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday.
(Is Superbowl one word or two? Super Bowl? Superbowl?)
Wow... that deafening noise you just heard was the sound of me, not caring.

In case you missed it, back in October 2007 I wrote a post that contains everything I know about sports. Feel free to refer to it, in case you need answers for this weekend.

I'm 99.93 % sure I won't be watching the game. Not even for the commercials. Instead I'll be enjoying the "good" part of Superbowl Sunday, which of course is all the snacks and hors d'ouvres.
I plan to start with mini bagel pizzas.

Touchdown!
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I have a dream....

More precious than saffron, emeralds, or three hours with the celebrity of your choice: Actually being able to speak to a real live human being when calling customer service and tech support.
Just imagine how truly amazing it would be if they spoke fluent English, cared what you said, and could actually fix the problem!

Various Thoughts

1. I've discovered that I like peeling grapefruits and eating the sections just like tangerines.

2. I do not, however, like carrying a big 18-pound bag of grapefruits anywhere.

3. Today on the way home from the store, I saw a police car had stopped a semi. The semi driver was standing out in front leaning against the hood with his hands on the vehicle, and the cop was patting him down. I wonder what happened.

4. Green tabasco sauce is NOT hot. Seriously, go bathe in it with a bunch of paper cuts and you'll see what I mean.

5. I will be so glad when spring arrives. In case you happen to drive through Michigan then, I'll be the one skipping through town, strewing flowers from a basket while I sing pointless songs about robins bobbing along.
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Wordless Wednesday

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I must have been hungry when I wrote this post

Various Thoughts:

1. Garlic is so delicious I might love it more than oxygen. Luckily it can combine WITH air to form the substance known as "garlic breath."

2. I love kumquats. Both because they're tasty, and because it's fun to say "Kumquat" over and over again.

3. I'm also considering the possibility of trying another self-imposed "Vegetarian Week" here at the Jannaverse. My sanity has almost returned after the previous vege-week, and it's important not to have too much sanity over here. Let me know if this is something you'd like to see me inflict upon myself again.

My previous week of "Vegetarianism For No Good Reason" was last year in late August/early September. You can refresh your memory by reading up on the results here:

August 30: "My Week Of Vegecide"
August 31: "Daydreaming About Gnawing On A Yak"
September 1: "The Road To Insanity Is Paved With Thousands Of Little Orange Cones"
September 2: "Daydreaming About Nibbling On Bunnies And Flamingos"
September 3: "What Kind Of Wine Goes With Strabbit?"
September 4: "Things The Letters FEET Could Stand For"
September 5: "Now Please Don't Tell Me To Jump Off A Cliff...."
September 6: "I'll Have A Truckload Of Chocolate With A Side Salad, Please"
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Things the letters COLD could stand for

1. Cheetos Orange: Luscious Dye
2. Colorado Originally Liked Denver
3. Creating Origami Lap Dogs
4. Certainly Orville Looked Dreary
5. Cops... Oooh, Look! Donuts!
6. California, Oregon, Louisiana, Delaware
7. Clouds Obviously Look Down
8. Claws: Ominous Little Daggers
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Look! It's Kirk Skywalker!

"But wait," said Brandie, completely confused. "Why didn't Darth Vader just have the Klingons come help him?"
"No, honey," Tim corrected her. "You're mixing up Star Wars with Star Trek."
"But if the Klingons helped, then Darth Vader could take off his mask and reveal that he's really Batman, and... Tim? Why are you sobbing?"
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I guess we can feel safer now

(source)

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I can only hope

I live out in a rural area, and my water comes from a well. It tastes terrible, because it's full of rust and mineral-stuff. My faucets regularly get clogged up with hard water deposits because of all the build-up. So I use the water for cleaning and bathing, but for actual consumption I buy bottled water instead. I realize most of it is probably just somebody else's tap water, but I don't care. It tastes better than my own, and that's what I need.
So, the other day I bought a new gallon of drinking water, and happened to notice an expiration date on the side.

I was previously unaware of the fact that water could expire.

This makes me want to wait until the week after it's expired, just to see what happens.

I envision the following possibilities:

1. It will taste exactly the same, and my life will continue unchanged.

2. It will taste exactly the same but I will drop dead ten seconds later due to ingesting the noxious chemical brew that finally developed its full lethal potency after the posted date.

3. It will taste awful, like the plastic jug that has contained it for far too long.

4. It will taste awful but will totally be worth it because it will cause me to mutate into one of the X-Men with special superpowers far beyond my current ability to imagine.

Stay Tuned!.

Things I have never seen in a movie

1. Someone apologizing to a large reptile

2. A dragon who knows a really good recipe for dark chocolate cheesecake

3. A tap-dancing virus

4. A supervillain eating lunch at McDonalds

5. A creature that is part moose, part frog, and part poodle

6. My house

7. Someone successfully removing a mustard stain from a pink shirt
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Things the letters SPY could stand for

1. Slimy Parts... Yuk
2. Stop Pushing Yourself
3. Sometimes Pandas Yodel
4. Stan's Polluting Yugoslavia
5. She Poked You
6. Strawberry Pie! Yum!
7. Sheep Prefer Yaks
8. Someone Pooped Yesterday
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Sniff... Sniff.... Is something burning? ... Oh.

(Sing to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star")

Ja-la-pe-nos are not hot,
Neither's a Tabasco shot.
Give me something brave and bold,
Sizzling culinary gold,
Burn my tongue (and other parts),
Later, molten lava farts.

(A tribute to the wonderful habanero peppers I've eaten this week, with apologies to my slightly surprised digestive system.)
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Never mind true love; there should be more songs about wingst

WINGST: The angst you feel when someone just ate the last barbecue chicken wing.

KICULA: Dracula's nephew who is on the soccer team.

PROUT: When you're too proud to admit you're wrong so you just sit and pout instead.

GLEWS: Evry time he buyz that sooper glew, he glews hiz fingrtipz togethr.

GRANE: I sat down on the beach and now there are a zillion granes of sand in my shorts.

CHIPA: After the taste test was over, I liked ChipA better than ChipB.

PREGAL: Some combination of Regal, Pregnant, AND Legal.

ANTIG: A giant who is all mixed up.

SOURBS: The only thing worse than BS is Sour BS.

SOSEDNES: When you try to send an SOS by e-mail but somehow it all comes out backwards.

FLANTRAT: I have no idea what this means but I've had a lot of fun saying it over and over and over again.

SALFI: Failing at spelling the word "Fails".

REDNE: Someone who is mostly a redneck but not quite all the way yet.
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