Some of you out there must certainly know the answer to this.
Please help me figure this out.
One of my mom's customers is paying me to type a term paper for her.
Ten pages, plus references.
When I printed it out, there was a paper jam at page 7.
I fixed the paper jam and hit the button for it to resume printing.
It did the rest of the pages, but it skipped over page 7.
"Fine," I thought, "I'll just go back and have it print out page 7 separately."
But it won't print it.
Whenever I ask it to print out any type of Word document at ALL now, it immediately closes the program. Closes the entire program completely. POOF.
This happens whether I ask for just one page or the entire document.
Nothing ends up in the printer queue, and the program inevitably gets shut down.
I rebooted the computer.
I turned the printer off, waited, and turned it on again.
Rebooted the computer again.
Turned the printer off again, waited, and turned it on again.
Other types of documents are printing all right (for example, I tested it on an e-mail page and there were no problems). It's only Word Documents that are doing this. I tried other Word documents, just to test, and the same thing is happening with all of them.
I need to print out page 7 for this lady.
In case it matters, the printer is an HP Deskjet F4240.
It seems to be a computer problem instead of a printer problem, though, since e-mails are printing out just fine. It's not that the printer can't print; it's that the computer won't allow Word Documents to BE printed.
WHAT is the problem and HOW can it be fixed?
(*curls up in fetal position and sobs*)
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Sentences that rhyme with "Mortimer has an odd stain on his pants":
* Which makes it too awkward to get up and dance
* It happened right after he watered the plants
* And now he isn't the best at romance
* Last Sunday? Identical circumstance!
* Maybe tomorrow he'll have one more chance
* At least his detergent's "stain-fighting" enhanced
Thursday, November 7, 2013
"Ice storms, higher heat bills, blinding blizzards, shoveling, shivering, flu..."
"Things to expect in December?"
"Not exactly. Reasons to dread winter."
"I can give you a reason to be glad about winter."
"Fewer 65-year old guys wearing speedos."
"Suddenly I feel bad for all those people who live near the equator."
Thursday, October 24, 2013
"E Pluribus Caveat Emptor Triglycerides Ala Mode..."
"What are you doing now?"
"Trying to learn a foreign language. This one's really hard."
"But that wasn't a language; it was just nonsense."
"It makes more sense than the rest of the world does these days."
"Well... now that you mention it, triglycerides ARE delicious ala mode..."
Thursday, October 17, 2013
"Dangle, Mortify, Stink, Cholesterol, Monkey..."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm in a bad mood today, so I'm listing all the words I can think of that don't rhyme with orange."
"But nothing rhymes with..."
"Spleen, Garlic, Coccyx, Antidisestablishmentarianism, Fart, Dagger, Exsanguinating... Wait, is ear wax one word or two?"
"Maybe I should come back tomorrow."
Thursday, October 10, 2013
After finally returning to the Jannaverse, Janna looked confused.
"What is this? I'm gone for two weeks and you change everything?"
"Yes," said the stranger in the doorway. "We thought you died, so we changed the place into an all-night taco bar."
"Change it back. Right now. And... I'll have three soft tacos to go."
Thursday, September 26, 2013
The explorers foolish yet brave
One miniscule breeze
(Where did I leave my keys?)
A pity there's nothing to save
I thought of words but they perished
Falling through caverns deep dark and squarish
The corners smell bitter
Like old kitty litter
My sanity (once) I had cherished
from Janna at 10:20 PM
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Three dollars (plus tax) for three wings!
A whole dollar each
They would happily leech
For these little expensive McThings
After having some cookies and teas
The customer sat at McD's
She said "I just wish
The Filet O Fish
Would come with a full slice of cheese."
Friday, September 13, 2013
* It's more fun to say "Glucosamine Chondroitin" when you're really, really tired.
* Sriracha flavored potato chips are absolutely NOT hot or spicy at ALL. I actually sprinkled ground cayenne pepper on them just to bring the heat up to an acceptable level.
* According to the local radio DJ, ninety degree weather is "squishy underwear weather."
Thursday, September 5, 2013
"I cleaned the toilet today."
"Exactly. Afterward, I decided that nobody is allowed to use our toilet ever again. That way we'll never have to clean it again."
"Wait... then how do we..."
"We'll be visiting a lot of friends about three times a day."
"Here's hoping they're still our friends after taco night."
. One of the drawbacks to living alone is that you are the only person who's around to clean the toilet. (The cats somehow get out of it by pointing out that they have no opposable thumbs.)
Today I finally talked myself into it.
Feeling generous, I also scooped the litter box.
I tried explaining to the cats that I wouldn't have to scoop so often if they would simply stop pooping, but all they did was laugh at me before leaning around to lick themselves.
Anyway, for the time being, the cats and I both have clean toilets.
Have a nice weekend, and remember: visit LOTS of friends after taco night.
from Janna at 8:38 PM
Thursday, August 29, 2013
"So. Janna wasn't here last week. Time to loot the place. Whaddya wanna take?"
"Here's a package of light bulbs with only one bulb left in it. And some cheap cat food the cats won't eat. And a refrigerator magnet from some pizza place that doesn't deliver...."
"Never mind. Worst robbery ever. Let's go home."
. Sorry I missed my post last week.
Hope you're all doing well.
I'm still worn out, which isn't good because at some point I have to go out and buy light bulbs.
from Janna at 6:06 PM
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Things I would rather be thinking about right now:
* A giant bouquet of Stargazer Lilies
* Why Mickey Mouse never farts in front of Pluto
* The perfect recipe for fettucine alfredo
* Anything involving R.E.M.
* Buying light bulbs
* One more thing to add to this list so it can total 55 words
* Bacon pizza
I've got a lot on my mind.
The short version of the story is that I found out I have a bone tumor.
Slightly longer version follows:
Saw the specialist Tuesday morning.
He says I have a kind of tumor called an "enchondroma".
It's usually not cancerous, though it sometimes can be.
When it turns cancerous it's called a "chondrosarcoma".
So far they believe this one is NOT cancerous, thank goodness.
I also have severe cartilage damage (which the other specialist
already said) and arthritis in multiple spots (feet as well as knee).
The cartilage will keep wearing away (cartilage doesn't grow back) and
the arthritis will get worse as the years go by.
I can slow the damage by taking Glucosamine Chondroitin for the
cartilage and prescription strength Motrin (800mg) for the arthritis.
After enough time has passed, it'll get too bad for Motrin to work. The doctor says he will be willing to prescribe Vicodin at that point.
Good news combined with not-so-good news.
But mostly good news, I think, since they don't think it's cancer.
NO surgery has been planned at all.
In the meantime, we're in that vague gray land of "Wait And See".
P.S. August 13th was my seven-year blogiversary!
Wow. I can't believe I've been inhabiting the Jannaverse for seven whole years.
from Janna at 10:47 PM
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Things we should invent:
* Antimatter Bacon Double Cheeseburger: For every one you eat, it subtracts 700 calories from the other stuff you ate. We should also have antimatter fries and a totally awesome antimatter dark fudge milkshake.
* Antimatter bills and taxes (THEY pay YOU).
* World peace, I guess, but let's do the cheeseburger thing first.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Crayola color names that were rejected because they were too long to fit on the crayon:
* Red frustration of still being on dial-up when everyone else has ultra-fast broadband connections
* Weird green you see in the toilet after peeing, worrying you've got some hideous disease, then realizing it's simply that you peed into blue water.
from Janna at 10:20 PM