Those of you who derive perverse pleasure from stalking me will remember that I hate onions.
Usually.
I hate raw onions, but am much more tolerant of highly-processed onions, such as those found in the mushed-up oblivion of Burger King onion rings.
I believe the exact phrase I used in this post was "They make me fart like a motorboat, but that's another topic entirely."
Last weekend, Burger King offered FREE onion rings so we could all get a chance to try their "new" recipe.
I worried that their new variety would be the kind of onion rings I can't stand. Remember, if it's the kind where you can actually still pull out a complete ring of onion from the batter, I can't eat those. I'll be sick. So I feared that my beloved farty BK onion rings were about to become extinct.
I tried the new ones last weekend.
I'm pleased to announce that they taste pretty much exactly like the old ones. They're still comprised of barely-recognizable onion mush, processed so much that their own onion relatives don't even recognize them anymore. (They never call, they never write...)
What a relief! As near as I can tell, the "new" recipe possibly involved different seasonings in the breading.
I can also personally attest to the undeniable fact that they still make me fart like a motorboat.
1. On the way home this evening, the odometer switched over to 123,456. This was one of the most exciting things that happened today.
2. I almost hit a deer yesterday. He was getting on my nerves and I just wanted to punch him. No! Wait! What I meant is that I was driving home and I almost didn't see these two deer that were crossing the road. In fact, if it hadn't been for an oncoming car that DID see them (and flashed their brights to alert me), I might have cluelessly plowed right into them, singing R.E.M. songs with deer hooves and windshield pieces lodged in my spleen. Thank goodness for oncoming traffic.
3. Speaking of singing R.E.M. songs, I would like to announce that I have finally managed to memorize all the lyrics to "Its The End Of The World As We Know It". (Die-hard R.E.M. fans know why there shouldn't be an apostrophe in that title. It kills me to break traditional punctuation rules, but R.E.M. said...)
4. I bet if you tried making giraffe jerky, you would have to roll it up into a really long coil. .
Other people have exciting Sunday nights as a sort of "last fling" before they have to get up and go to work the next morning.
Me? I washed my face and did laundry.
(Not at the same time. The spin cycle is way too harsh.)
I'll try not to envy those of you out there who are still dancing around with lampshades on your heads.
The roads here are still kind of slippery after our recent snowfall. It wasn't a LOT of snow, but it does seem to have gotten packed down onto the roads (especially the back country roads) and transformed into ice. I slipped and skidded once yesterday and once today. Feel free to tell me how thrilled you are that I made it home safely. That is, if you can take the lampshade off your head long enough to find a nearby computer. .
7. Any reality TV show, especially ones involving the following: ..... a) hidden cameras ..... b) people who sing badly ..... c) people backstabbing one another ..... d) people about to get a huge amount of money for doing something I probably could have done myself
Anyone who's read the Jannaverse for any length of time knows I love hot and spicy things. I pride myself on being able to tolerate (and enjoy) just about anything. I cast withering aspersions on wimps who can't handle anything hotter than Tabasco sauce.
I'm able to eat habanero peppers raw. They hurt, but they're good.
So, naturally, I became intrigued when I saw ghost chili peppers available in a catalog. (I got mine from a snail-mail catalog, but I see the company also has a website where you can order them.... here... scroll down to where it says "ghost chile".)
They're even hotter than habaneros. (Apparently at one time they were the hottest pepper on the planet, but people have found hotter ones since then. Read about that here.)
I got a bag of them. They are very, very, very hot. I love them, but wow. They are definitely hot.
Here's a video I simply had to share. It's some guy who's supposedly never eaten any kind of hot pepper in his life, and he decides to have his first hot pepper be a ghost chili. He eats an entire dried ghost chili (just like the ones I bought).
At first, he's all arrogant about it, like it's no big deal. Then his arrogance melts into terror. It hurts him so bad that someone kicks him in the crotch to try and distract him from the pain in his mouth.
It is a scientifically proven fact that the world only makes sense about 14% of the time. Slightly less on Mondays. There is also a little-known theory that all days are actually Mondays in disguise. It's MY theory, and it's little-known because no one ever listens to me.
Things that would look a lot more interesting if you added some green food coloring:
