Monday, September 12, 2011

Pass me the bacon and no one will get hurt.

It's finally over!
I refer, of course, to my week of vegetarianism.

I posted about it every day on Jantrails, where the vast majority of humanity has no clue I exist.
I swear, I could rob a bank over there, and no one would even notice.

For anyone who might conceivably care, here is how the week went.

Monday: The day when I explained why you're probably not wearing pants

Tuesday: The day when I fantasized about swimming in bacon

Wednesday: The day when I ate one of the worst soups ever invented

Thursday: A quiet day when I admitted that I hate monkeys

Friday: Sorry about the drooling and slobbering.

Saturday: Sorry about all your broken bones. I'm still trying to figure out a way to write about the camel urine.

Sunday: A truly bizarre day when I ate absolutely nothing EXCEPT fruits and vegetables. Not even any bread or dairy. Come to think of it, this actually qualified as vegan. And we all know how crazy I turned out after trying a week of THAT.

Just think, when I wake up on Monday, I'll be able to dance in carnivorous glee once again.
I'm thinking of inventing a new dance called "The Electric Pepperoni".
It involves a pizza and an oven and a lot of chewing.
Not much dancing, actually, now that I think about it.


Anonymous said...

Raspberry lemonade - Ick! I've got some in my kitchen cabinet - tried it once - Not good - weird combination of too sweet and too tart all at the same time.

nonamedufus said...

Wow, you're like a modern-day Dee Dee Sharp!

Janna said...

Grace: I like it, actually. I don't like it quite as powerful as my Mom does; she mixes it so strong it could take the paint off a Buick. I like it a little more diluted. Gentle but nice.

nonamedufus: Wow. I have no idea who that is. Let's see; I'll try Googling it...
(*click click* *pause* *click click*)
You mean this chick? Was she a vegetarian? Did she hate monkeys? Was she wearing pants? Did she fantasize about swimming in bacon?
I'm confused.
Where's that pepperoni pizza...

meleah rebeccah said...

Hoooray for BACON!! Even though you'll really be enjoying "The Electric Pepperoni" happy dance.

nonamedufus said...

Dee Dee danced the "mashed potato"and sang "give me gravy on my mashed potatoes, give me gravy c'mon treat me right".

Janna said...

meleah rebeccah: I have indeed enjoyed my pepperoni dances. A lot.

nonamedufus: Because we all know that a proper relationship involves fair distribution of gravy.