Manic Monday: Will

If, when I die, I have to leave all my worldly possessions to bloggers, here is the will I would make:

1) My harp, I leave to Kyle, but only if he starts posting more often on his blog. (January? Oh, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle....) If he promises to post at least twice every week for the next five years, he can also have my french horns, my keyboard, my dulcimer, and my cello.

2) Any leftover frozen burritos in my freezer go to Meloncutter. Please don't fart in my general direction after I'm dead. I will give you list of people you can fart at instead.

3) My semiprecious stones and crystals go to Steve, but only if he starts posting stuff on his blog again. If he agrees to post every day for the next five years, he also gets a surprise bonus item to be revealed at my death.

4) My three cats will go to Morgen. This will give him a total of eight cats. It'll be interesting to see how he keeps from going insane.

5) My videotapes of Monty Python will go to Mik over at Slightly Mordant.

6) Any cheese remaining in my fridge will go to Michael C. over at The Wonderful World Of Nothing Worthwhile. He must do a blog post for each time he eats some of it, and the posts must include pictures of the cheese.

7) My Fab paraphenalia goes to Gwen. Oh, and she also gets that deer skull that's behind the garage.

8) Fab gets any bottles of Dasani water I have in the fridge. Oh, wait, he also gets to take Jesus back. And I think he can have all my gel pens, too.

9) My bottle of Sriracha hot sauce goes to Desert Songbird.

10) My Brooks & Dunn CD, which I don't often admit listening to (because it qualifies as Country Music) goes to Wayne over at The Blog Of Whall.

11) My cosmetology textbook goes to Wayne over at Wayne's World. I want him to draw funny mustaches and beards on all of the models, and post pictures of some of them.

12) My extension cords and light bulbs go to Shelli. No reason.

13) My acrylic paints go to Marilyn. I want her to make a sign to be placed next to my tombstone.... something funny... like "Wow, I can't wait to blog about THIS!"

14) Any cookbooks which contain any recipes for cake go to Travis. He must pick three favorite recipes, and spend an entire evening preparing them with loved ones instead of watching dancing shows on TV.

15) Cincy Diva, Metalmom, and Onionboy all get to fight over my CD's, kitchen utensils, and personal hygiene products. They must also choose items from these categories that will go to Bee, Vinnie, and Lynda. All six of them must also learn to dance the fox trot. No reason. Maybe Travis can watch.

If you weren't mentioned here, it doesn't mean I don' t love you. It means instead that you get to fight over everything else! I've got a TON of junk. Gather it all in a big pile in the front yard, and sort through it until you find at least one thing you like.
Be sure to do a blog post on it.

Thanks for reading.
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