Saturday, May 17, 2008

What Fun!

For the first year or so of my blogging existence, I'd enter contests but would never win them.
Then, a month or so ago, something apparently changed. It was like the cosmos was trying to make up for other crap that was happening in my life, and suddenly I started to win contests. Well, two of them anyway. Plus an honorable mention from a third!
My prizes have begun to arrive.

First, I won a contest by DutchBitch. (I like to call her "Dutchy").
My prize arrived today....
For starters, there was a giant inflatable tulip. (Hey, she IS from the Netherlands!)
It is now residing in the wrought-iron fencing on my front porch.
Hopefully my neighbors are jealous by now.

Next, there was a pen... it's a ballpoint pen, with levers in back... you push the levers, and these arms with boxing gloves come poking out.
Now I can pursue my lifelong dream of writing about things while pretending to punch them at the same time.
(Take THAT, high gas prices and onions and lower back pain and Martha Stewart and litter-box odor and current political administration! Ha! )

And... there was also a bunch of broken plastic pieces at the bottom of the package. As near as I can tell, these used to be part of the pen. There was probably a head on top, but it got crushed in shipping, and my pen is now headless.
Kinda like the headless horseman, except MY pen can punch people and then write about it afterward.
.

Then, I won this contest that Fab had. My prize was an action figure of Jesus.
Yes.
Really.

Jesus arrived a few days ago and has been living in the kitchen. I go to bed with one slice of bread left, and when I wake up there are 12 baskets of toast waiting for me.

And don't even get me started on the fishes.

Anyway, here's Jesus next to my flower bed. (And, by "flower bed," I mean "thick den of weeds".)

And here is Jesus with the deer skull I found in my yard last week. The skull now lives on the cement patio behind my garage.

Next, I'm looking forward to getting an "honorable mention" prize from another Fab contest that occurred recently.
I will be sure to blog about it when it arrives!

Thank you, Fab and Dutchy!
..

13 comments:

Marilyn said...

I just love when Jesus says LOL.

DutchBitch said...

Awww I am so happy the stuff finally arrived and the cracked up plastic shit.. yeah, that was a froggy head on the pen...

Mr. Fabulous said...

See? And you didn't want Jesus in your life. You asked me not to send him. But look at all the cool stuff you can do with him.

Now maybe he can explain how to tell how many syllables are in a word...

Trukindog said...

One year huh...so I've got 5 months to go before I have a chance to win any contest's...DAMN!

Desert Songbird said...

You could put Jesus by the kitty litter, but you might be afraid to see what he multiplies there...

Mo said...

Just another reason I'm a non-Christian...

Of course, now I have the song Plastic Jesus stuck in my head.
"Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far."

Seriously, it's a real song - google it!

Janna said...

Marilyn: He does have a way with words!

Dutchy: It's ok. Somehow I think I like it better without a frog head. :)

Fab: He keeps asking for you....

Trukindog: Maybe your luck will be better than mine was!

DesertSongbird: Oh, believe me, the cats do a dandy job of "multiplying" that all by themselves! Ack!

Morgen: Now I'll have to come up with a different title for my next symphony.

Travis said...

Congratulations on your bounty!

Janna said...

Travis: Thank you!

Gwenhwyfar said...

If he brings that skull back to life how the fuck am I supposed to hang it in my living room!? Jeez!

Janna said...

Gwen: Maybe you can use Fab's skull instead!

Gwenhwyfar said...

Man, you're just full of great ideas today!

Janna said...

Gwen: All I ask is that you send pictures. And maybe some of his DNA so I can clone him and keep him in a steel cage hanging from my bedroom ceiling.