Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Next week I'll try taco sauce instead

As some of my friends will tell you, I have a tendency to keep things in my bra.
More than the usual two things, I mean.
If you read Jantics awhile back, you know how I woke up with a ketchup packet poking my boob.
It happened again, sort of.
I had another ketchup packet in my bra.
Actually I had more than one. (The exact amount is classified)

One afternoon, while in the middle of the grocery store, I felt one slip over to a VERY uncomfortable spot and poke me in a rather undesirable place with those jagged ketchup-packet edges.

I wanted SO BAD to just reach right in there and scratch where it itched, and move stuff around, but in such a public place I felt somewhat stifled. Instead, I awkwardly shoved the side of my arm against the offending area, hoping to herd the packets closer to the center valley of bra-land.

This happened repeatedly.

No doubt I appeared to be having some sort of seizure.
I could have just found an empty aisle, pulled discreetly over to the side, and THEN reached in and rooted around. But then someone could have walked by and seen me. Surely they'd have thought I was trying to steal something.
I would have been mortified, being left with no choice but to flash the stranger by lifting up my shirt and emphatically showing them that there was nothing in my bra but two boobs, a cell phone, and some ketchup.

Then they would probably nod quietly and back away slowly.

Before long, there would be cautionary posters in the store's entryway, warning customers to stay away from the weird bra lady who talks to iced tea in the parking lot.
I made the following picture, which seems to correspond nicely with this post...
You may have seen it on Facebook's "Owned" application. I uploaded it there because I wanted to see if anyone would bid on it. :)



Meloncutter said...

I think you should have just whipped them out and took care of business. Surely you would have been on camera. It would have hit Youtube within hours.

You would be famous.

Later Y'all.

Travis said...

Maybe you need to start dressing up in a baseball uniform. It's expected for ball players to adjust themselves at least 13 times every hour.

Marilyn said...

A can never carry anything in my bra because I'd never be able to get it back out again without an audience.

Janna said...

Melon: Well, I HAVE always wanted to be famous...

Travis: Really? They have boobs too? They must have mixed the steroids up with the estrogen...

Marilyn: At least you'd be giving them something to blog about! That could be your good deed for the day!

PattiKen said...

Oh, wait till you're a little older. Then you will have no compunction at all about digging right in and rearranging the pantry. And in the interest of propriety, I won't talk about the other things you will have no compunction about doing in a public place.

And as for the ice tea, what's your point? Doesn't everyone?

Janna said...

PattiKen: LOL! Right now I'm 40; how much older do I have to get?

PattiKen said...

Sorry, talking about my age is one of the few things I have compunctions about discussing in public. ;-)

Janna said...

PattiKen: Then we can talk about MY age instead. I don't mind. :)