It's still not too late to give me cheesecake
I liked the idea of posting various Twitters I've done, so today will include a list of thirteen more.
As always, you can follow me on Twitter either by clicking HERE or by just visiting this blog and reading my updates in the sidebar. (Though right now at this very minute for some reason the Twitter widget doesn't seem to be working.... someone please go to Twitter headquarters and beat them with dry spaghetti until they fix things).
(Note: The ones where I complain about not being able to connect? Those were submitted through texting.)
1. Just got back from giving manicure to sweet little old lady. She fed me cheesecake! None of YOU have ever fed me cheesecake... 04:36 PM June 26, 2008
2. I've discovered that I LOVE rye Triscuits. I used to hate rye stuff but now I crave it more than a scurvy sailor lusts for a glass of Tang. 02:17 AM June 27, 2008
3. It is hot enough to melt the sweat off a penguin's balls. 02:11 PM June 27, 2008
4. So, since i can't connect to the net, I suppose I may have to actually, like, read a book or something. 04:53 PM June 28, 2008
5. I hate my ISP! Can't connect at all. Tried about 200 times. It worked about 12 times but would boot me a minute later. Every time. 09:13 PM June 28, 2008
6. Recharging my cell phone so I can put it back in my bra.... which is the most exciting thing I've done all day. I know. Sad. 08:38 PM June 29, 2008
7. Listening to my neighbor mow his lawn. Listening to my cat lick her tail. Listening to the fan whooshing. Sigh. My mind is empty. Wordless. 06:29 PM June 30, 2008
8. I think I will actually go to bed early tonight and fall asleep at a decent hour. I know, WHO IS this person?? What have I done? Who am I? 07:41 PM June 30, 2008
9. Back online.... for now, at least, until my ISP remembers it hates me. 04:03 PM July 02, 2008
10. Off the computer. Texting. The storm is getting worse, the sky is darker, and it just started hailing. Where's Toto? 05:49 PM July 02, 2008
11. I am about to have a big bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Chocolate is the most amazing substance on the planet. I hear oxygen is good too. 07:24 PM July 03, 2008
12. Wow, the sun is bright. Ugh. I think I'm turning into a vampire. That's a shame, cuz I really love garlic. 05:48 AM July 05, 2008
13. Full of pizza and breadsticks and root beer. If you poked me with a pin, I would explode. POW!!! 06:42 PM July 05, 2008
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9 comments:
Did you hear about the woman who wore her bra all day only to discover that what she thought was her cell phone in there was really a bat?
Marilyn: Didn't you know ALL cell phones are really small furry mammals with sharp teeth and wings? If you pay a little extra per year, you can get one that DOESN'T drink blood.
My current rave of food offerings is supplying ample portions of strawberry short cock.
Might as well make the best of this soy thing.
Later Y'all.
Melon: If it looks like a strawberry, something is definitely wrong.
Strawberry AND short... he'd better see a doctor.
I keep meaning to share my cheeseCAKE with you. Regrettably I always end up remembering to share after I've already eaten it all.
Sorry about that.
Marilyn: Plus, those seeds must really itch.
Travis: And then you laugh maniacally...
Yup. I just don't think the world needs to know how boring I am (more than they already do) thus I'm avoiding the whole Twitter phenomena.
Morgen: Aw, c'mon, it'll be right up your alley. Example:
1:00 petting Jazper
1:27 petting Jazper
2:13 petting Isis
2:16 picking up something Isis tipped over
3:38 feeding Jazper and Isis
3:49 smelling baaaaad litter box odors
4:11 petting Jazper
Then, in the evening hours, you could substitute the other three cats' names instead!
See?
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