Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The other side of the coin

As you know, a few days ago I posted a list of 50 ways to annoy me.
Today, in the interests of fairness, I'll post 30 ways to please me.
Oh, there are plenty more than 30, mind you, but some are perhaps better left to the imagination. Especially the ones that involve leather, hot chili pepper oil, and hair scrunchies.

Ways To Please Me:

1. Speak with a British accent.
2. Give me fettucine alfredo.
3. Understand why french horn players hate marches by John Philip Sousa.
4. Know how and when to use an apostrophe.
5. Know the difference between a half note and a quarter note.
6. Know the difference between a Cardassian and a Romulan.
7. Be pro-choice.
8. Appreciate hot sauce.
9. Be interested and responsive and playful when I flirt with you.
10. Be genuinely interested when I rant about things.
11. Spell words properly.
12. Pronounce the word "nuclear" properly, and never elect anyone who is unable to do so.
13. Send me fountain pens.
14. Love James Bond movies. Especially the older ones.
15. Love Monty Python.
16. Send cookies.
17. Know what I mean when I say "Ugh, that oboe is 20 cents flat," and understand why this is a very bad thing.
18. Appreciate Emeril Lagasse.
19. Enjoy cold weather.
20. Send me a good laptop computer.
21. Refrain from hugging me if a dog has licked you any time since your last shower.
22. Understand that farts are funny. Really, really funny.
23. Appreciate surrealist art.
24. If you're a composer, write decent parts for french horn.
25. Laugh at my jokes.
26. Offer to publish any books I happen to write
27. Let me be as strange as I want, and claim that you find it endearing.
28. Keep me cool if I am too warm.
29. Keep me warm if I am too cold.
30. Make me laugh at least once every day.


katherine. said...

pip pip cheerrio and all that rot.

Meloncutter said...

I got you covered on #22.

Well, not that I covered you with a fart, but that farts are funny. Damn, have you ever been covered with a fart?

Later Y'all.

Anonymous said...

I am musically challenged unfortunately. But I can identify with the rest. I love listening to music, but unfortunately in it's written form and anything to do with that, it's a language that I seem incapable of understanding. But some day, I will conquer it. Oh yes I will! And when I do, I will take the sheet music to Adante Spianato, sit down at a piano with it, and play it beautifully.

Robin said...

Ok, well I am pro-choice, very pro-choice. I believe I know how to use an apostrophe but under pressure I might screw up. I always flirt right back. I love ranting. I spell check constantly. I voted for the other guy. I love Monty Python but really any British humor. I avoid being licked by dogs. I laugh at all jokes. I love strange, hell I married strange. I'll do my very best to make you laugh. Oh and I do an awful British accent but I convulse when a man has an Irish/Welsh accent. When I visit you I will bring you Fettuccine Alfredo and cookies.

Marilyn said...

I can't spell and since we only know eachother through print media, you probably hate me. On the other hand, I love hot sauce, I like to flirted with (as long as it's all in fun), I'm a dog owner but I don't like hugs, and I know the difference between a half note and a quarter note.

Juby said...

I can't promise 21 lol...but everything else..minus 20 I think I'm pretty good to go, eh govnuh? Cherrio! see you at rehearsal tonight!

Travis said...

I don't know a lot about the nuts and bolts of making music, but I like music and I can spell and I think you're wackiness is incredibly charming.

And I have a cat.


Mr. Fabulous said...

I really don't think farts are all that funny. Did you ever hear someone fart and claim that it was 20 cents flat?

Turnbaby said...

I was a music minor and I let my dogs kiss me --I guess I am walking the Janna tightrope

Janna said...

Katherine: Let's go have some fish and chips!

Meloncutter: That's what I like about you. You've ALWAYS got me covered on #22.

Square1: Someday you will! I believe you!

Robin: Thank you in advance for the cookies and pasta.

Marilyn: You don't like hugs? Really?

Juby (Kyle): I think of all the people I know, you are the one who has hugged me the most times after being soaked in dog drool. Morgian comes in second.

Travis: Tell me more about how charming I am.

Mr. Fab: I will never understand how YOU, of all people, do not consider farts to be funny.

Turnbaby: Yup! Better stay on my good side, huh? :)

Travis said...

You are so charming that just thinking about what you might have written today makes me quiver with anticipation.

Janna said...

Travis: Now I'm all excited! (See? Goose bumps!)

Angry said...

A bit late on this one I know...

1. My Aussie accent does me fine. (It opens a lot of doors when I'm travelling, especially in the US)
2. I cook excellent pasta.
3. Gotta love a good Sousa march.
4. My apostrophe's apostrophe is usually his own apostrophe, therefore I wonder it should not always be apostrophes' apostrophe.
5. A half not was when Miss Craddock tore my hall pass in half and a quarter was when she tore it again.
6. Are we talking about the Eastern Cardassian or the North Eastern Cardassian? Which of course is fewer in number, but a lot prettier to look at.
7. I believe it should be mandatory that people be pro-choice.
8. I love hot sauce, but it does make #22 very unfunny.
9. What was that you said... I wasn't listening.
10. Refer #9.
11. I have no trouble at all spelling 'words', that's one of the easier ones to spell.
12. Can do and don't.
13. Ohhhh noooo you don't, they're mine.
14. Nope.
15. Grew up on a diet of Monty Python and many other British comedies.
16. Buy your own.
17. I had a 20 cent plastic Oboe once.
18. Why? Emeril doesn't appreciate me.
19. I live in southern Aus, I have no choice. (But I could choose to move, see I'm pro-choice.)
20. Wish I had one for myself.
21. A dog would never get close enough.
22. Refer #8.
23. I do, it's so... so... so real.
24. Sorry, I'm a writer... I write decent parts for French porn.
25. I would if you ever made any.
26. Sure, as long as I don't have to read them.
27. If you promise not to find my high endearingness strange.
28. No matter how warm you are, you're always cool.
29. No matter how cold you are, you're always hot.
30. Oh well, I guess I failed that one today.

Oh well, I guess I'd only please some of you all of the time and all of you some of the time. But then that's what makes for a good friendship... right?

Janna said...

Angry: Very impressive! But PLEASE tell me you were only joking about #3!

Angry said...

You're right, I was joking... I also love a bad Sousa march.

Janna said...

Angry: Awww. What a shame. Now I have to kill you.

Angry said...

Oh okay... I have my own hearse, shall I bring it? And maybe you'll find something you can use it for after I'm gone.

Janna said...

Angry: Excellent! How thoughtful of you! Make sure you fill up the gas tank first.