Sunday, September 25, 2011

Note to self: Be more numb and less fast

Last Thursday I was driving into town, not quite realizing how fast I was going.
My mind was on other things.

I was listening to R.E.M.'s "Bittersweet Me", and was just about to switch over to "So Fast, So Numb".
To my surprise, I heard a siren behind me and saw flashing lights.
I pulled over and this little young-looking cop asked for my license, registration, blah blah blah. He was nice enough about it, I guess.
He explained to me exactly how fast I was going.
Ahem.

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BRIEF CONVERSATION WITH SELF:

Self #1: So, um, should I tell the readers how fast I was going, and what the speed limit actually was?
Self #2: Nah. They already think you're nuts. Plus you've already bored Monkey Man to death again just by mentioning R.E.M.
Self #1: That reminds me, do you think I could fake my own death easier if I used glass ketchup bottles instead of plastic ones?
Self #2: What?
Self #1: What?
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So, after what seemed like forever, the nice little young-looking cop brought back my license/registration/insurance. He explained, to my great surprise and relief, that "this time" he would let me off with a warning.
Thank goodness!
I've had enough emotional upheaval for one week.
I think it's time I spent a few days hibernating under the covers with a pint of good ice cream and a CD of Automatic For The People.

Self #2: You just did it again.
Self #3: Oh. Sorry, Monkey Man.
Self #2: Hey, where's Self #1?
Self #3: I dunno.... hey, do you smell ketchup?
.

6 comments:

Adrian Katrina Miller said...

That's is funny. Good thing he let you off with a warning.

Janna said...

Adrian: I was surprised!

nonamedufus said...

Maybe your policeman friend just realized that everybody hurts.

Janna said...

nonamedufus: LOL! Yes, that must be it! :)

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh you're lucky he let you off with a warning! Last time I got a speeding ticket it was CRAZY expensive!

Janna said...

meleah: That's exactly what I was worried about while I was waiting for him to return...