Sunday, April 3, 2011

Tales from the Twitter crypt

Since the weather is lousy and rainy and cold right now, I'm going to settle down with a comforting beverage and a pair of cats.
For my post today, I'm totally cheating and copying some of my old Twitters that I particularly liked.
Please love me anyway. Or at least pretend.

Ancient Twitters from 2009:

My sinuses are revolting. By this I mean they are disgusting AND they have decided to revolt against me through evil snot warfare.
5:48 PM Mar 20th, 2009

BTW, today I learned if you're having sinus trouble, and if you cough & sneeze at the same time, the snotball can travel a long way indeed.
5:51 PM Mar 20th, 2009

My bladder is the size of a basketball, filled with tea. This is as close as I get to "March Madness".
9:40 PM Mar 26th, 2009

Listen! What's that sound? Ohhhh, it's gravity, saying "Janna, you ate too much pizza."
7:04 PM Mar 27th, 2009

Tonight's adventurous Friday activity: Checking to see if the milk in my fridge is too far past the expiration date. Wish me luck.
9:49 PM Mar 27th, 2009

If dogs like smelling each other's butts, why don't they make dog food that tastes like dog butts?
12:20 AM Apr 14th, 2009

Must remember to NOT drink half a gallon of tea right before bedtime. Maybe my bladder can get up and roll to the bathroom without me.
10:53 PM Apr 28th, 2009

Burger King onion rings make me fart like a motorboat.
12:47 PM May 3rd, 2009

Never mind cheese. The moon is made of Twinkies. That's why it hasn't gone bad. (Just think of all that lunar creme filling....)
12:00 AM Apr 27th, 2009

Yay! I think my headache is finally gone! You can all go back to breathing loudly again if you want to.
4:38 PM Apr 21st, 2009


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

"If dogs like smelling each other's butts, why don't they make dog food that tastes like dog butts?
12:20 AM Apr 14th, 2009"

:) Genius.

00dozo said...

Ha! The "March Madness" one slayed me (really, our t.v sucks here and, sadly, I've been that bloated too).

And, hey, I thought you didn't like onions?

Janna said...

MikeWJ: I try!

00dozo: Excellent memory! I DO usually hate onions. The exception is when the onion has been highly processed into oblivion, in the case of onion powder, onion-flavored snack chips, or Burger King onion rings. Even then, my body has a "reaction" to it, usually in the form of a thousand farts.

nonamedufus said...

Love the dog butt one. But here's a thought. It might be interesting for people to greet one another like that. Can you imagine going to a party and having to sniff everyone's butt? I gotta go now. I have an urge to lift my hind leg up against a tree.

Janna said...

nonamedufus: You have hind legs? Wow!
As for the butt-sniffing parties, that would be cool, since I never get invited to any parties anyway. I'd just get to read other people's blog posts about how many butts they had to sniff.

LOTGK said...

My very first "Tweets" ever.

LOTGK Patrick
Something wicked this way comes. the lightning is pretty intense right now.
6 Jul 08

LOTGK Patrick
Who is really in control of the American People? Not the Federal government. Just look at gas prices, that will tell you!
7 Jul 08

LOTGK Patrick
Trying to figure out a way to add twitter to my Wordpress theme.
10 Jul 08

LOTGK Patrick
Bitzky, you just described Youngstown, Ohio 360 days a year....
11 Jul 08

Janna said...

LOTGK: You're in Youngstown, Ohio?

LOTGK said...

Not at this exact moment. But yes, I live in a suburb of the city that people fly over.