Monday, November 1, 2010

I'll be the one under the table, gnawing on a radish

That ominous shriek you heard recently was me, shuddering in exasperation at the grocery store.
I'm shocked to discover just how many items are not vegan.
Things I was fully planning on eating during my week-long vegan odyssey ended up being off-limits.

Garden Salsa Sun Chips? They have buttermilk.

Worcestershire Sauce? It has anchovies. (??!!)

High Fiber Granola bars? Depending on the kind, they have honey or yogurt or milk.

Garden Vegetable Rice blend? Chicken fat. (!)

Vegetarian Gardenburger patties? They have egg whites.

Honey graham crackers? They really do have honey.

Onion rings? Breaded Mushrooms? There's egg in the batter.

Doritos? Apparently they really do have actual cheese. (Who knew?)

Gummi bears? Oh, right... gelatin.

"Newman's Own" Lowfat Italian Dressing? It has romano cheese.

And of course pastas and breads have eggs in them.

I was sort of hoping the bakery section would have a "vegan bread" choice. I imagined it would be horrendously overpriced and would certainly taste like dusty cardboard, but at least it would be BREAD.
Alas.
Nothing.
Speaking of dusty cardboard, I'll at least be able to eat Wasa wafers-- which are more like a cross between crackers and roofing shingles.

The loudest shriek happened when I discovered that even the dark chocolate had milk in it.

I dunno how long I can do this, you guys, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Stick around. Each night I'll post what I ended up eating that day.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, come looking for me.
Bring a cheeseburger. With bacon.
.

7 comments:

Grace said...

you're going to have to eat a lot of veggie pizza!

Grace said...

Oh you can put soy cheese on that...

Janna said...

Grace: Accghh! I tried veggie pizza (with real cheese) during one of my previous vegetarian forays. I hated it. :)
**brief pause while I try to stop imagining how "soy cheese" would taste**
Besides that, isn't pizza crust still made with eggs...?

Grace said...

No, pizza dough has NEVER been made with eggs...pasta dough can be made with eggs - sometimes...

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

I have a vegan friend, and trust me on this, you'll never find any success in your endeavor if you even BEGIN to concern yourself with how something tastes. It's strictly "food as a way to not die" mentality.

Monkey Man said...

What about vegan bacon? Did you find any vegan bacon?

Janna said...

Grace: Really? Interesting! I guess I just assumed that all bread products contained eggs. Wow....

Chris: I'm beginning to see what you mean! Although "not dying" is great, bacon is also great. Therein lies the dilemma....

MonkeyMan: No, sadly!