Friday, August 6, 2010

On the bright side, Twinkies are on sale for $2.00 a box

Things Wal-Mart does not carry (yet):

1) Live polar bears which have been sedated for your convenience

2) Hallmark cards which say "Sorry I laughed when the cat threw up in your shoe"

3) A truly effective antidote to Burger King onion ring farts

4) Well disciplined, good mannered children

5) Johnny Depp's DNA

6) Tomatoes shaped like carrots, but blue.
.

18 comments:

KB said...

I thought there were far too many words before I counted them, LOL.

Johnny *sigh*

g-man said...

Maybe not Johnny Depps
But SOMEBODY left some DNA on a shelf in Aisle 13 at our local Wal-Mart.
Excellent 55 Janna.
You are like a "Cone of Silence" in a cacophony of extremly loud Rap Music.
You Rock Baby from Marysville to Marquette...Galen

Janna said...

KB: Ah! Sorry to disappoint you. Almost.
Thanks for visiting! :)

Janna said...

G-man: Ewww! I briefly worked in a Wal-Mart back in 1994, and I vaguely recall the types of customers who would leave "DNA" in Aisle 13.
(*shudder*)

MorningAJ said...

Johnny Depp's DNA. I kow a lot of people who'd buy that!

Mine 55 are here

Claudia said...

..wonder if i would buy Johnny Depp's DNA...

群育航學 said...
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燕明中延 said...
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John's comments said...

no tomatoes shaped like carrots and blue...yet, Think how easy they'd be to slice! If you want to hear (yes hear!) or read my Friday 55 Flash fiction then click here. Hope you have a good weekend!

Brian Miller said...

the whole polar bear one just irks me...i like polar bears...wonder if they melt in the summer heat...BK onion rings...nice.

Janna said...

Morning: Imagine the happy time when there could be a clone in every home...

Claudia: A lot would probably depend on how much it costs. Here's hoping it's under ten bucks.

Spam guys who I deleted: TWO of you this time? Seriously? Gaahhh! :<

John's comments: Blue carrot-tomatoes would look so pretty in salads, too! Have a good weekend. :)

BrianMiller: Oh, I like polar bears too. :) I'm totally ok with just leaving them in peace, right where they are. That way all my tasty internal structures get to stay in peace right where they are.
It works out better that way.

rudy said...

Loved your 55 words, they made me gag, some of them (or was that in the comments?;)), they made me cry (polar bear), they made me, hmm... (Johnny Depp's DNA). Brilliant write, this! Still chuckling...

swputh said...

I like your ideas a lot, from this 55, to the theory that all days are actually mondays in disguise...
Do keep writing...

kavisionz said...

hehehheh...these were some amazing ideas!!!
2 and 3 - EEEWWWWW !!! :D

LOVED the DNA one... pheewww!! I wish... I would "inject" it in many people I know :)

Bravo!!

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

"Sedated for your convenience" would be a great saying to put on a t-shirt.

Buzzard said...

I like the way you think!

Mama Zen said...

They keep saying that the polar bears are on the next truck . . .

Janna said...

Rudy: Welcome! Thanks for visiting. Sorry about the gagging.

swputh: I once had a Monday which was actually a Sunday in disguise, but I might have been hallucinating under the influence of too many tacos.

kavisionz: #3 is my favorite, I think. The nice thing is that since there IS no real cure for BK onion ring farts, we can just go ahead and let them fly with impunity.

Chris@Knucklehead: Ooooh! I love that!

Buzzard: It's the only way I know how! :)

MamaZen: They do? I'll have to start paying more attention to all these trucks on the highway nowadays.