Sunday, June 13, 2010

This is why I need three arms

If you've read my recent Jantrails post, you know that I've lost some weight lately.
As a result, my pants are a bit looser on me.
One pair in particular proved to be just a bit TOO loose when I went to the grocery store a few days ago. I discovered to my horror that I repeatedly needed to pull my pants up to keep them from falling down past my butt.

Rest assured I caught them just in time to avoid a shocking incident which would have made most of the shoppers lose their appetites.

It was especially tricky when I wheeled the cart out to the car, because I had to hold onto the cart, open the car doors, and transfer the groceries into the car, all while making sure to keep from mooning the entire city.

It's harder than it sounds.

Note: I have an embarrassing habit of talking to myself, though I usually avoid doing so in public.
But this time I was so exasperated that I said something to the effect of
"I just can't keep my pants on!"

And then I realized there was a guy parked in the space right next to me.
And of course his window was down, and he was sitting there listening to the whole thing.

I pulled my pants up and drove away, making a mental note to wear a dress next time.

Does anyone have a safety pin I can borrow?


Bob said...

A roll of duct tape always comes in handy.

PattiKen said...

Hey, I'm thinking this is not such a bad problem to have. And the perfect solution is to SHOP.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Janna, this guy probably figured that his biggest fantasy had finally come true after years and years of waiting to find a woman who couldn't keep her pants on. So your problem, however troubling it was to you, made one person very, very happy. And isn't that what we all hope to do with our lives?

Monkey Man said...

High class problem - desired weight loss leading to more exposure than you want. Maybe this is the Universe telling the Jannaverse she's worth the look.

nonamedufus said...

You must have been quite a sight in the parking lot, ha,ha,ha. But you managed to maintain your modesty...and your pants. I don't know why but I'm reminded of my dear departed mother's joke whenever some one passed away. She'd say "Did you hear Mr. so-and-so passed away? Yeah, he couldn't get his breath in short pants." She thought it was funny.

Janna said...

Bob: The hard part is ripping it off later on.

PattiKen: The perfect solution would be to hire my own personal chef who would buy all the food so I wouldn't have to shop. :)

MikeWJ: LOL! Yes, I guess I can cross that off my "things to do before I die" list now...

MonkeyMan: I'm not quite "worth the look" yet. I still have a long way to go, I think. :)

nonamedufus: Wow! I don't get it! And for some reason that makes it funny somehow! :)

nonamedufus said...

short pants = shorts

short pants = trouble breathing

short pants = ha, ha?

PattiKen said...

Shop for new "skinny jeans," silly, not food. I agree, leave that to the chef.

Marilyn said...

Yay! Congratulations. Hopefully mine will be falling off soon too.

captnkurt said...

Maybe you should give Art Frahm a call and he can draw a portrait. You might have to provide your own celery, though.

Janna said...

nonamedufus: (*crickets*... *crickets*...) :)

PattiKen: Right now I can't afford new jeans. But I can afford Twinkies, so I guess it'll all work out somehow...

Marilyn: Yay! :)

Captnkurt: Can I substitute hot peppers for celery?