Sunday, June 27, 2010

Things to say when you can't afford a cheeseburger

1. If you give me some money I promise not to tell you about this giant thing growing on my armpit.

2. Poverty makes me tired. Wake me up when I have $1.50, ok?

3. For the low, low price of only $400.99 per month, I promise to actually TRY to avoid saying stupid things, unlike so many of our politicians and athletes in the past 30 years.

4. I only have one sock left. If you give me a cheeseburger, I'll autograph it for you.
..... (The sock, not the cheeseburger.)


Subby said...

Burger King "dollah value menu"~~Jr. Whopper for 100 cents( +tax of course )

Just got a refund cheque from th' bank for ( get this... ) $ I can almost get a soda with that buger!

Subby said...'ll autogragh the sock or th' cheeseburger?

***RING,RING,RING***( picks up th' ' broke to add caller I.D. )
( Relentless telemarketer ensues his/her spiel... )

"So sorry but you might try me at a later date...when I've th' money to pay attention...!"

Slams 'phone down in disgust...curses feeble lot in life!

Anonymous said...

Leave the cheese off and you can afford it quicker, of course now it is just a regular burger.

nonamedufus said...

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a ham(cheese)burger today.

PattiKen said...

Or you could have Wednesday too. That's never such a great day for me.

Monkey Man said...

Nonamedufus beat me to the punch. I was gonna whip out the old Wimpy line. Day late and a dollar short. No pun. No burger.

Subby said...

Dang! Good reference from noname!

1. If you give me money, I promise not to pick my nose in public...

2. Or scratch...

3. Or leer at other people doing the same thing...

4. Or rat out the stock-boy in produce ( for picking his nose while putting out th' apples! )

#4 actually happened...!

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Dufus kind of beat me to it, but this could be a "Wimpy's Rejected Cheeseburger Begging Lines".

"Give me a cheeseburger, and nobody gets hurt."

Janna said...

Subby: If only I liked the Whopper Jr. My mother loves them, but I can't stand burgers with lettuce, onion, or mayo. And without those ingredients it's... wow, it's a cheeseburger.

miksplace: **gasp** (!!) A burger without cheese is not a real burger. It is a lonely sandwich without a soul.

nonamedufus: Ahhh! Yes, I forgot all about Wimpy!

PattiKen: Better yet, just take the whole summer. I'd rather have cooler weather anyway.

MonkeyMan: And no cheeseburger either. Maybe we can ask Bill Gates to loan us some money.

Subby: Picking his nose while stocking the apples??? (!!)

Chris@Knucklehead: Or, "Give me a cheeseburger or I'll make you watch 48 hours of Martha Stewart and Oprah. Together."

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

It's sad to be so poor that a buck fifty could energize you. It only takes a buck for me.

Subby said...

Janna, as does my Mom( but hold th' onions and pickles! )

And yes...while handling th' apples. The produce section was th' first place you see upon entering th' store...sooo not the best of impressions!!

Janna said...

MikeWJ: It only takes a buck for you? What about Colorado sales tax? It's .06 per dollar here in Michigan. It used to be only .04 when I was a kid. (Now I feel old.)

Subby: I just realized I ate an apple this morning without washing it first. (!!)

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I always forget about sales tax. You know that guy in the drive through who holds up a whole lane of cars while he searches his floor for pennies and dimes? That's me.

Janna said...

MikeWJ: (*gasp*) That was YOU???!