Friday, July 10, 2009

Various Thoughts

1. Heat and humidity are even more evil than Elmo and Barney, and that's really saying something.

2. I finally made an appointment to get my eyes checked for the first time in many years. It'll be on July 23rd at noon. I am going to need bifocals. Somehow I know this means I am officially old, yet I seem to be accepting it with equanimity. Or senility. Maybe both.

3. I have a new relationship with my bladder, now that I'm trying to drink lots of water. I try to drink at least two liters per day, sometimes more. (My bladder isn't speaking to me. And when it tries, it just gurgles. Especially when it mysteriously pees out more than I actually drank.)

4. A few days ago I was at the store, in line ahead of some guy who smelled like he'd had an unfortunate accident, if you know what I mean. I've been in gas station bathrooms that smelled better. (Made it kind of hard to eat the chocolate ice cream I'd just bought.)

Speaking of which, feel free to enjoy a song about skid marks.

Hopefully my next post will not involve waste products of any kind.
.

15 comments:

whall said...

You should see their Mexican lovechild, El Moebarnay. He's the ultimate evil.

Janna said...

Whall: I think I saw him in a vision once, after eating way too much at Taco Bell.

Thom said...

Join the group sister. We all need those bifocals sooner or later. LOL. That video is so nasty LOL. Waste matter is fine every once in a while...but let's keep it in the outhouse where it belongs LOL

unfinishedrambler said...

As a guy, I have no idea what that video is about. ;) I wear boxers.

Janna said...

Thom: Ah. Well, that's the problem, then... I have no outhouse. :)

UnfinishedRambler: I think a talented guy would still be able to leave skid marks on boxers. Especially after decades of practice. :)

ettarose said...

At least you can interact with your bladder. Mine lets go whenever and wherever it wants. It has absolutely no compassion at all. I am working on tri-focals.

Janna said...

Ettarose: Oh, believe me, mine has a mind of its own sometimes too, depending on how much sneezing and coughing I'm doing. And from what I hear, trifocals may be in my near future as well.
We should form a support group.
Our dress code would involve absorbent bladder-control pads, and all our newsletters would be in really large print.

Lidian said...

Oh, they make bifocals now that don't look like bifocals (I know this because I had the traumatic experience of getting them a few years ago) so that is good. Kind o good. All right, anyway.

I hate Barney and Elmo and all their horrid hellacious minions. And humidity, too. I also hate drinking water.

Travis said...

My mom had bifocals at 28. It's got nothing to do with age. Sometimes your eyes are just like that.

Janna said...

Lidian: Welcome! I love your blog. You hate drinking water? Even the bottled stuff? I can't stand the taste of my tap water, but I like bottled stuff like Aquafina and Dasani.

Travis: Apparently! I'd always thought bifocals were more of a late 40's/early 50's kind of thing. Granted, I am going to be 40 in January...

jennster said...

my bladder likes to reward me with the fucking need to piss every 20 minutes when i give it lots of water.

VE said...

On Friday I drank slushy margaritas while at the Coldplay concert and proceeded to not use the bathroom for 10 hours. It's my secret super hero power...

Janna said...

Jennster: Shhhh! My bladder will hear you!

VE: Wow. So do you have a yellow superhero cape with a big "P" on the back? Those would be some interesting comic books.

Gwenhwyfar said...

I work in a library. If I get through a day smelling less people like that than people who don't stink, I count that as a victory. (So far that's happened maybe twice.)

Janna said...

Gwen: Do you bring air freshener to work with you?