Sunday, June 28, 2009

Compared to burning rocks and internal stabbings, my poetry isn't all that bad

What I Learned Last Week:

1. My readers hate poetry.

2. Celebrities are dropping like flies. Don't try to be famous anytime soon.

3. If you're eating lunch with a plastic fork, don't bite down too hard, or you'll break off one of the tines and will accidentally swallow it, and will spend every day wondering if it's slowly ripping your insides apart, driving you to an untimely demise. It will also make you inspect bathroom "results" with far greater scrutiny than you would perhaps otherwise be inclined.

4. Anything over 70 degrees (F) is annoying.

5. Anything over 80 degrees (F) makes me wish I was a penguin in one of those antarctic huddles, enjoying the refreshing breeze that comes from a wind chill hovering around 76 degrees below zero.

6. Anything over 90 degrees (F) is hot enough to melt rocks in the Jannaverse. I am currently posting from what appears to be the inside of a live volcano.
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11 comments:

Jamie said...

The requisite three deaths have occurred so the only celebrity who has to worry is the first one of the next three.

Janna said...

Jamie: There have already been more than three (David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays).
Honestly, I try not to put too much stock in the whole superstition thing, but still I can see how it makes people wonder.

Travis said...

I guess if you buy into the 3 thing, then we'll have to be on the watch for the next one coming to an internet headline near you.

ReformingGeek said...

I told Hubby I was glad he wasn't famous. He's turning 50 this year.

If it's over 100, you're really screwed!

Janna said...

Travis: Stay tuned! The great Twitterverse will let us know....

ReformingGeek: If it ever gets over 100, I exist only as a cloud of subatomic particles.

subtorp77 said...

Poetry your readers hate,
Then less of it here I'll spate!

Who made up this "rule of three"?
'Twasn't you or me.

No worries about a heat wave,
A pool your life will save.

whall said...

I must say that I love your poetry.
Thinking it gone fills me with woetry.
Please rethink and say it ain't soetry.
Else I don't wanna go on no moetry.

maryt/theteach said...

I'd be stabbing myself with a plastic fork if I had to stand the heat you're going through... :(

Grace said...

I hate the heat, the humidity and air conditioning - I am so screwed...

Janna said...

Subtorp77:
Comments on my haiku - only one!
I've no clue why; twas all in fun!
The comment was, of course, from you;
So thank you very much for all you do.

Whall:
It's nice to have someone who cares
And reads the stuff I write.
Will you also do my car repairs
And make my laundry bright?


Mary: The good news is that it's cooling down Tuesday and Wednesday; we're getting temps in the lower 60's!! (Yes, 60's! For a high! Possibly setting some record low temps for this time of year. I'm so glad!)

Grace: How can anyone hate air conditioning? It's the most wonderful invention in the history of the universe! Maybe even better than microwave ovens!

subtorp77 said...

Janna, thanks and no worries. I've had posts like that. I just put it out there, yes? Poetikat does haiku from time to time. I never really got into it...