Monday, February 23, 2009

Maybe I should have mixed it with Nyquil

If you've been reading my Jantrails posts lately (and my Twitters), you know I was sick all last week.
It didn't really get super-bad til Wednesday, at which point I was like one of those fountains you see at the mall-- except with snot instead of water.

(I wondered why all those kids kept trying to drop coins in me....)

One night it was so bad I tried to ease my congestion by trying something interesting. I'd heard that hot peppers can clear a person's sinuses. And you all know how much I love hot things.
So, even though I was so stuffed up I couldn't taste a thing, I baked a few chicken tenders and put some hot sauce on them. It was my Black Widow sauce, which is deliciously fiery. It burns my tongue and brings tears to my eyes, just like any good hot sauce should. I love it.
I'd hoped that it would burn through my sinuses, much like drain cleaner can eat through an unidentifiable clog in the bathroom sink. I envisioned clear happy sinuses afterward, along with the unspeakable joy of being able to simultanously breathe out of both nostrils at once.

It didn't work.

Oh, it made my nose run, all right. And there might have been two minutes while I could do the breathing-in-stereo thing, but immediately afterward I went right back to being stuffed up again.
It was like my body had extra amounts of snot stored up, just in case. My little sinus-troll (I call him "Boogles") simply turned on the emergency spigots, thereby ensuring that my nose-blowing would continue throughout the rest of the week.

Fortunately, I'm feeling better now and am ALMOST all cleared out. My voice still has a little bit of that "gotta cold" sound, but it's nothing like what it was a few days ago.

By tomorrow, I might even feel human again.
.

7 comments:

CrAzY Working Mom said...

Well, I'm glad to know that you might feel human again soon.

I've never heard of this black widow sauce. I don't think I'll try it. I'm a whimp when it comes to hot stuff!

metalmom said...

One drop in each nostril and SNIFF!

That'll work. Or at least it should. Let me know if it does!

Broadway Matron said...

Glad you are starting to feel better

VE said...

You could try putting your head in the microwave to dry all that out!

Da Old Man said...

Something with some horseradish would probably work.

Marilyn said...

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Janna said...

CWM: You should try it anyway, just to make sure. :)

Metalmom: Aaaauuuggghhhhh!!

BroadwayMatron: I'm glad too!

VE: But then I'd still be frozen in the middle...

DaOldMan: Eeewwwwwww! I hate horseradish. :)

Marilyn: Me too!