Saturday, February 14, 2009

If I can't be loved, at least let my bra be filled with taco sauce

In case you're ever on Jeopardy, or playing Trivial Pursuit, and you need to know what Janna had for dinner on Valentines Day 2009, the answer is nachos.

If this knowledge results in cash prizes, I fully expect a percentage.

On a semi-unrelated note, I just realized I have two packets of taco sauce left in my bra, and the corners are making me itch.
Please excuse me for a moment.
Ahh. Much better.

As I was saying, I have survived my least favorite day of the year, and am looking forward to just about ANY other day that does not involve pink and red hearts and couples hand-in-hand, oozing romance in a way that is eerily reminiscent of a seeping pustule.

On the bright side, there will be a lot of heart-shaped chocolates marked down to bargain price tomorrow.

Ten Other Things The Letters VD Could Stand For:

1. Vampire Dyslexia
2. Velvety Droppings
3. Virginia's Dirty
4. Virtual Donkey
5. Voluptuous Donuts
6. Veal's Delicious
7. Viciously Decapitated
8. Vermin Delight
9. Vaseline's Disgusting
10. Vintage Delusions


whall said...

Sorry about that. I sincerely meant to give you VD this year.

Wait, that's not right. I meant a VD card.

Yeah, that's it.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Janna, I love you. Just so you know. But I promise I will never do the hand-in-hand romance pustule oozing thing. Honest.
Also, I had a felafel pita for supper, that I had to eat quickly as I ate at work before my shift started.
Can we just pretend it's just Saturday, like every other fucking Saturday? Please?

Da Old Man said...

Not to bring up a painful memeory or anything, but why did you have taco sauce packets in your bra?

Thinkinfyou said...

Taco sauce packets,not a bad way to give the boobs a little pick me up! I might just have to try that.

Marvel Goose said...

0ther than serving as a metaphor for saucy boobs, what other reasons might you have for warm storage of condiments?

My apologies if you have already answered this. I'm just trying to Ketchup.

Janna said...

Whall: At least your heart was in the right place. I think....

Gwen: Falafel sounds good.

DaOldMan: I wanted to remember to bring them inside instead of leaving them in the car.

Thinkinfyou: Try the "fire" variety!

MarvelGoose: Warm bra condiments are tastier and more comforting. Plus I keep hoping someday it'll make me a lot of money on e-bay.

Jamie said...

There is a novel waiting to be written based on Vintage Delusions leading to Viciously Decapitated.

Janna said...

Jamie: Vintage Delusions would also be a great name for a blog. Or a band. Or a title for my next music composition!