With no one watching....

As I mentioned yesterday on Twitter, one of the things about being single and alone is that you can eat a blueberry donut for your dinner, and no one says anything.

Other things I can do while I'm single, that might seem odd to a significant other:

1) Spend eight hours listening to the exact same song over and over and over again.
2) Keep a box of Triscuits and a can of spray cheese next to the computer.
3) Stay up til five in the morning, wondering why I'm not asleep
4) Talk to my cats, demonstrating how to poop in a toilet instead of on the floor
5) Spontaneously start singing Monty Python songs for no reason
6) Walk outside in the middle of the night and point up at the sky as if I see a UFO there, wondering if the neighbors (or passing motorists) notice.
7) Talk to an imaginary butler named "Orrington" and ask him why nothing ever gets done around here.
8) Write weird poems called "Janku" that nobody seems to like except Whall.
9) Eat Twizzlers while pretending I'm a giant bulldog chewing my leash off
10) Light a candle to mourn the loss of the Chicken Club Chalupa from the Taco Bell menu.
11) And, while we're at it, let's mourn the loss of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch too.
12) Make up new swear words no one else understands, like "Zartch!"
13) Pretend I'm on a cooking show called "People who barely care enough to turn the microwave on."
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