Note to self: Behave Suspiciously

One of the neat things my new computer has is something called Google Earth. You can see actual satellite images of ANYPLACE on the planet. And it's kinda scary how detailed they get.... sometimes.
I've peeked at all sorts of places on the globe, like Buckingham Palace, Easter Island, Egypt, the Bahamas, and islands I never knew existed. Some are tiny pimple dots out in the middle of the ocean, yet when you zoom in, you find that there's a real island out there, with beaches and trees and everything.
Here's what annoys me, though. The resolution isn't the same everywhere. Those teeny pimple-islands out in the middle of nowhere? They have GREAT resolution. It's breathtaking.
But Michigan? We have lousy resolution. Fuzzy and meaningless.

Here, lemme demonstrate.


This is the closest I can get to seeing a view of my property.
(Click to enlarge).
Obviously the green stuff is forest. The beige stuff is fields. I'm somewhere around that dark orange field, I think. But I can't see ANY houses at all. The rest of Michigan is mostly just as bad (Except for the BIG cities). This bugs me. Am I not important enough to be monitored by government satellites? Have I not acted peculiar enough? Must I ramp it up a notch just so I can see my property more clearly?
Sigh.

In stark contrast, here is a satellite view of one of YOUR houses.
(I won't say who.... or which house it is.)

See how much better the resolution is there?
I'm jealous.

And here's a teeny tiny group of islands out in the Indian Ocean, halfway between India and Australia. They're the Cocos Islands.... Here's an overall view:
(click to enlarge)
Look at that! You can see the surface of the ocean! See the waves? See the clouds? See the shadow of the clouds on the ocean? Wow!
And here is a close-up of the northernmost tip of West Island.
(click to enlarge)

See all that detail? See the individual TREES? And the roads?
Why not have THAT much detail in rural Michigan, where lots more people live?

Clearly I need to do something to make the satellites look more closely at my part of the planet.

Here are some possibilities:

1) Announce that every Thursday is "bend over naked" day.
2) Start rumor that I have secretly developed a car which gets 90 miles per gallon every time George Bush mispronounces the word "nuclear".
3) Declare war on Indiana. No reason.
4) Start making crop circles in the nearby fields.
5) Send anonymous message to Washington that Michigan is thinking of joining Canada.
6) Kidnap several people from the Cocos Islands and take them to Detroit. (Assuming "several" people actually live there to kidnap)
7) Take a trip to NASA headquarters, roam aimlessly outside the gates, and talk loudly to self, saying "If only YOU knew what I KNOW about Michigan!"
8) Declare war on Ohio. No reason.
9) Spray paint a bunch of arrows pointing across US highways, pointing toward Michigan.
10) Send Michigan postcard to the creator of Google Earth, with message on back, saying "This just in! Michigan is POPULATED!"
11) Step outside and shout really loud up at the satellites: "I'm over HERE! Over HERE!"
12) Declare war on Illinois. No reason.
13) Buy a hot-air balloon and a good digital camera, and just float above my property and take my own pictures.
.

Wish me luck.
.