Friday, June 20, 2008

Guilty as charged

There's a new kind of Snickers bar out there.

It's called Snickers "Charged."
They've sorta turned it into an energy bar; it's got B-vitamins, Taurine and caffeine.

There's actually a warning label on the side that says: "Not recommended for children, pregnant women, or people sensitive to caffeine."

So, I bought one, and I'm about to try it for the very first time.
I'll blog about my opinion immediately afterward.
Everybody ready?
Get ready.
Here goes....
**opening the package**
**taking a bite**

It starts out tasting exactly the same as a regular Snickers bar.
Then there's this strange aftertaste. Kind of sour/bitter. Not good.
Must be the vitamins. Or the caffeine. Or the taurine.

I see now why it shouldn't be fed to children.
The kids would react by saying "Ugh, mommy, this tastes like CRAP!"
And then the kids would get their mouths washed out with soap for cursing, and then the kids would notice that the soap actually tasted better, and then we'd have an epidemic of soap-eating kids. Soap can't possibly be good for your brain cells, and we'd have a generation of kids growing up with an IQ of 24, and one of them would have to end up being President someday.
Nah. I won't say it. The joke's too easy.


Meloncutter said...

It probably has soy in it too. So the name of the candy bar is the same as the reaction you get when you use the extra energy it gives you to have sex.

Damn. I won't get any of those.

Later Y'all.

Janna said...

Meloncutter: What would really be hilarious is if all your cheap frozen burritos have been soy-filled all this time. Imagine the horror!

Avitable said...

Have you tried the Indiana Jones Snickers? The "Adventure Bar"? It has coconut and a few spices in it that make it really good. I ordered a few cases online.

Travis said...

Eegads! Must everything be turned into something to give us more energy???? Isn't a regular Snickers bar sufficient to that purpose???? Snickers is the perfect candy bar with peanuts and caramel nugget and milk chocolate for cripes sake????

And sugar!!!! Hellloooooo! Full of energy!



**grumble grumble grumble**

Messing with a Snickers. Sheesh.

Meloncutter said...

Ya know? I never thought of soy in the CFB's. I am going to have to check some ingredient labels. Damn, Life without farts.

What a choice, either have a penis with no gas, or gas and no penis.

What a horrible decision to have to make.

I have some thinking to do.


Later Y'all.

Janna said...

Avitable: I'm not a big fan of coconut, so I'm not sure I'd like it. However, I am laughing at the fact that you ordered "a few cases." LOL :) Order me some Butterfingers and Twix, while you're at it.

Travis: I agree completely.

Meloncutter: Well... you could keep the penis and just have the farts artificially implanted with a bicycle pump or an air compressor... the aroma wouldn't be the same, but you'd probably get an improvement in volume and sound quality.

Avitable said...

I do everything in excess.

Janna said...

Avitable: Wow! Cool! You came back twice! This is a first! I am so honored. Listen to me gushing. Is this some kind of cosmic karma to make me feel better? I lose a Fab but gain an Avitable?
'Cuz, y'know, I kinda wanted both.

Still, welcome.
Come back soon.

Avitable said...

I was actually thinking about people for whom Fab was one of their main commenters, and felt bad that they would lose a frequent visitor!

But no, this isn't cosmic karma. I make no guarantees! :D

Janna said...

Avitable: I know. Fab was a very very very treasured commenter, and now there's a big raw gaping wound where he once was. Very sad. I'd kinda hoped he would still stop by, even after the recent mess, but alas. The silence is deafening.

whall said...

Doesn't Obama have *enough* of a snickered past without you bringing up more irrelevant topics in the campaign? Sure, he's black. Sure, he's Muslim, wait, no, agnostic, wait, no, Christian/ whatever, Sure, he's young and inexperienced.

But his snickerholism is personal, sacred and should NOT be made fun of.

Just like the size of his ears. Nobody made fun of Perot.

Janna said...

Whall: Wow, what did I say that sounded political? (!!?) Now I have to go back and re-read everything...
Ahhh. The President thing. Naaahhh. That was a slam against Bush. :)

Grumpus. said...

I also see a new O Henry! floating around in the stores lately. It has a bunch of protein added. I think I'll turn over a new dietary leaf & pick up some of these taurine Snickers and special O Henry bars...nutritious never tasted so good!

Janna said...

Grumpus: The O'Henry ones sound like they'd taste better than the enhanced Snickers ones. Extra "protein" is more likely to taste better than extra "B-vitamins and taurine".
Though, I suppose it depends where they get their protein.... (*shudder*)