Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ignore the flushing sound in the background

I've been drinking a lot of water lately. A LOT of water.

I pee so much, I resemble one of those fancy water fountains over in Europe or Home Depot somewhere.
I guess you probably didn't need to know that, but hey.
Maybe I can hire myself out, to stand in people's ponds and gardens.
Should I charge by the hour, or the amount of peeing I do?
Must remember to research this.

Oh, and last week, when I posted about my new computer, I mentioned that it had Windows NT.
Ooops. My bad.
Actually it has Windows XP.
Apparently there's a difference.
I've edited the post, so it says the right thing now.

Hopefully this means the squad of computer geeks will stop holding my cats hostage.


Lynda said...

I was wondering why you would use NT. Still debating on returning your cats to you though.

Shelli said...

Can you hold your little peeer like that boy statue? If not, I don't think people will want you peeing in their garden. Unless it smells like asparagus.

whall said...

I used to have a job as a peeing statue stand-in. When the originals got sent out for maintenance, I would be alternate.

Someday, windows versions 2-letter acronyms will mean something.

Windows MT
Windows NV
Windows PP
Windows OIC

Mr. Fabulous said...

I can hear the black helicopters...

Janna said...

Lynda: Aw, please give me my cats back. I miss them. With my cats gone, I have to resort to pooping on the carpet myself.

Shelli: Maybe I could get one of those funnel things and direct the stream that way. Maybe if I ate a bunch of potpourri beforehand, I could make it smell like roses.

Whall: Would Windows PP be for porn?

Fab: They'll never take me alive!

Meloncutter said...

Okey Dokey, Here is the deal. 2 bucks an hour and I supply the water. It is a 3 hour concert and you must have the name of the band painted on your body.

Call for details.

Later Y'all.

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Six bucks for three hours? My pee is worth more than that! I demand more! Plus, I'll need to sit down. We can cut a hole in the bottom of the chair or something. What kind of water will you be providing? I like either Aquafina or Dasani. Will the paint be water soluble?

Lynda said...

Since you asked so nicely.

Today at 12:01 p.m. walk out of your house to your car. Go to the Main St./Cross St. intersection. There you will find a man. He will ask you a question, to which you reply "wamprat" and then he will give you a box. Take this box to the nearest post office, and stick it under the mailbox, then go sit on the bench. A woman will drop an envelope in the mailbox and pick up the box under the mailbox. Give 2 dollars to a homeless person, then drive home.

Your cats will be back and they will want Cheetos.

Janna said...

Lynda: It worked! Except the homeless guy wanted three dollars instead of two. We compromised; he got $2.25 and a new cardboard box.