Please make sure I'm actually dead before you take the quarters

It's after midnight, so technically it's Monday now. Really, though, it's Sunday night and I'm still at Morgen's. I'm posting this from the laptop in the living room. Morgen's already gone to bed. I plan to be up for another hour or so.
It dawned on me that I have no idea what to post for Manic Monday.

So, let's try this.

The theme word is Rip.
Often the letters RIP are found on tombstones.

So, here is a list of possible things you can engrave on my tombstone after I'm dead.

1. No, you can't have her chocolate now either.
2. Try not to remember her as the person who farted on your sofa.
3. It's too bad she hated sauerkraut.
4. She may also have hated eels.
5. At least she loved cheese.
6. But not cheesy eels with sauerkraut.
7. She only made sense when she wanted to.
8. It would have been nice if you'd bought some autographed squares of her underwear. Instead she died poor and alone. Shame on you.
9. She hated TV commercials about yeast infections.
10. There's a secret compartment in her left kidney which contains $4.75 in quarters.
.