Friday, April 11, 2008

Drunk Blogging!

Okey dokey.
I'm just a wee bit drunk right now, as evidenced by the fact that I just typed the words "okey dokey". (Neither of which are actually words.)
I'm drinking blue raspberry vodka. I drank the first few gulps kinda fast, and it's hitting me like a pumpkin dropped from a 20-story building.
I don't drink that often, so it doesn't take much. Plus I haven't eaten at all today. Don't ask.
As some of you know, I've been in a rotten brokenhearted painful shoot-me-now kind of mood for the past 9 days or so. The actual depressing situation hasn't changed, but I'm starting to be able to cope with it better. This is the first time since that whole thing began, that I've actually drank any alcohol at all, believe it or not.
Wow, I just had to keep trying about 4 times before I could spell the word "alcohol" right.
It is REALLY raining outside. REALLY hard. It's been raining off and on for the past three days, as if I've somehow managed to project my painful mood out into the cosmos.
Bonus! Superpowers!
What I want to know, though, is this: If I can alter the weather by projecting my mood out into the cosmos, why can't I kill people with my mind? Seriously, I'd much rather have THAT superpower. Who do I speak to about this?
I guess that would make me a supervillain, but who the hell cares.
I'm beginning to seriously suspect that evil people have a lot more fun than nice people.
Pardon me while I go refill my drink....

Holy crap, when I got up, there was this AMAZING headrush.
And my lips are numb. And maybe some of my fingers. Not sure about my toes yet, as they seem to have detached themselves and begun spinning in mid-air around my head, not unlike the stars and birds that happen when cartoon characters hit their heads.

I am totally planning on drunk-texting a couple people soon.
I've never done that before. I've received drunk texts but have never sent any.
It's about time I started doing that.
I can cross it off my list of things I wanted to do before I die. Can't remember if it was actually on the list to begin with, but hey. Better safe than sorry.

Dude! Y'wanna know how I just proved I'm a nerd? Do ya? Huh?
I was so amused by my numb lips that I wanted to see what it would be like to play french horn while I was drunk. So I got out my horn and played for a couple minutes.
Bzzzzzzzzzzttttt! Hee! Mozart would be so PROUD!!

I should totally try writing some music when I'm toasted.

I'll leave you all alone now.
BTW, you have NO IDEA how many times I had to stop and fix typos while I was writing this.

Blue raspberry vodka... it's not just for breakfast anymore!


Meloncutter said...

I usually don't take the typos out when I blog drunk. I like to go back a couple of days later and see just how screwed up I was. So far since I started blogging, I have blogged drunk 3 times.

Later Y'all.

Travis said...

I do not envy you the hangover you'll have tomorrow if you keep this up on an empty stomach.

Have some tacos!

When I was a regular in a chat room, we used to call this PUI...posting under influence.

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Believe me, if I'd left the typos in, NO ONE would have been able to understand any of this.

Travis: I will eat something later. Probably not tacos, though... maybe Ramen noodles or chicken nuggets. Mostly because that's all I have. No, wait.... I also have canned beefaroni and mexican pizza rolls.... and some stuff to make grilled cheese sandwiches with....

Tug said...

hee...I like drunk blogger Janna. Good luck tomorrow with the hangover!

Em said...

This is one of the best drunk posts I've ever read.

Marilyn said...

You are just as entertaining drunk as sober. Be careful around toilet tank lids. I had a bad experience with that once.

Anonymous said...

Drink LOTS of water and take a coupla tylenol before you go to sleep. You will thank me in the morning.

Janna said...

Tug: Thank you! It's nice to be liked!

Em: Excellent! Do you read many?

Marilyn: Toilet tank lids? Really?

Jason: Oh, I've drank a LOT of water, all right. I've peed enough to refill the Great Lakes at least twice.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Dammit, Janna (I had to resist the urge to start singing Dammit, Janet) You're supposed to get drunk when I'm around so I can... ummm... okay, so I can take advantage of you. I'll even promise to call you again. Not like last time, I swear.

Shelli said...

The best part about drunk blogging is the not fixing the errors. You blew it. I hope, by the time you read this, you are feeling okay and not feeling the after effects of too much alcohol.

Janna said...

Gwen: Awww! I didn't know you cared!

Shelli: I am happy to announce that there is no hangover! Teensy tiny headache, barely worth bothering with. No agony, no barfing!

Wavy said...

"Drunk texting." Ha ha
I hope you are feeling better today and not too much of a headache. Maybe floating along in the peaceful ocean will help...

Your message bottle is now afloat in the vast blogosphere ocean. You are Message In a Bottle #246.
Feel free to toss in a bottle whenever you feel the urge to send a message. The blog ocean is always open. You never know what might wash ashore.
Message In a Bottle #246

Mo said...

Sorry I missed your drunk texts.
My drunk mother used up all my tracfone minutes the other night.

Mr. Fabulous said...

What's the alcohol content in that bad boy?

Janna said...

Wavy: Great! Thanks!

Morgen: Dude, e-mail me or something. I've been worried.

Fab: It's 60 proof.