Thursday, April 10, 2008

As long as it's not in suppository form....

If pizza was prescription only, I bet there would be a lot of addicts out there. Instead of places delivering in 30 minutes or less, there would be shady deals conducted in back alleys smelling vaguely of dumpsters, pepperoni, and garlic.
Doctors would become increasingly reluctant to write the prescriptions, due to pressure from anti-substance abuse groups.
Well-meaning but closed-minded control freaks would stage interventions and programs called "Just Say No To Sauce And Dough!"
Thank god we live in a semi-free country.
We may not get to have pizza with crack and meth on it, but at least we can have sausage and bacon.
I'd rather die from that anyway.
.

16 comments:

Gwenhwyfar said...

The first time I read the title of this post I missed the "not".

Meloncutter said...

Pizza is the only thing that actually saves me from my addiction to tacos, frozen burritos and tex-mex food in general.

I use one to offset the effects of the other. Keeps me on track that way.

Later Y'all.

Mr. Fabulous said...

How can you die from sausage and bacon? If pigs attack you?

Matt-Man said...

Mmmmmmmm Pizza. Cheers Janna!!

metalmom said...

Hmmm...meth or pizza? Pizza or meth...

Let me give 'em both one more try and I'll get back to ya!

Mo said...

"Hello my name is mo and I'm a pizzaholic... oooh, is that a Pepperoni Lovers'?????!!!!!"

Janna said...

Gwen: Important difference there!

Meloncutter: Tex-Mex is a fun addiction to have, though. Just think of all the beans!

Fab: There's this thing called atherosclerosis, when all the fat builds up in your arteries, and pretty soon your arteries are blocked shut and you have a heart attack and die. Good luck with that. And, yes, there's also the ever-present danger of being mauled by feral pigs. Especially ones named Pinkerton.

Matt-man: With plenty of meat on it!!!

Metalmom: Take notes and post the results!

Morgen: Dude, one of these days I HAVE to visit. We'll go to Pizza Hut and chow down until they're afraid of running out of dough.

Shelli said...

I don't really like pizza. :(

Shelli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Travis said...

You said bacon, dammit!

When do you suppose Taco Bell will start serving bacon tacos?

Trukindog said...

A world without pizza would be a world I wouldn't want to live in, yes MO I to am a pizzaholic and I have no intension of getting clean.

Janna said...

Shelli: WHAT?? How can you not like pizza? Pizza is amazing! Are you sure you're from this planet? I may need to take a DNA sample...

Travis: Seriously, didn't they have a bacon-topped gordita or chalupa awhile back? This would have been years ago, and I forget what it was called, but I swear I remember something like that. There was taco meat, cheese, some kind of sauce, and bacon... maybe lettuce and tomatoes, too? I wish I could remember.... It was almost like a mexican BLT. Someone out there, help me with this... does anyone else remember?

Trukindog: I agree completely.

Mo said...

Just passed the Taco Bell marquee last night - Bacon Chalupas are back here in the BigD!

Janna said...

Morgen: Seriously? Really? What are they called, then? I can't remember the name.... was it BLT? Club? What did they call them? I know it wasn't just "bacon chalupas"... Accgghghh... I need some GAS in my car so I can drive up there and investigate!!

Travis said...

I had the bacon club chalupas this weekend! Woooooooooooo!!!

They have chicken and bacon and lettuce and tomato and cheese...no beans.

Yum-OH!

Janna said...

Travis: Wow! Cool!!!