Thirteen Things To Do Today

I had something really important scheduled for today, but it got canceled.
Long story.
So now I have to find other ways to spend my time.
Here are thirteen possibilities:

1. Find fountain of youth (look in closet this time)

2. Point at random people and say "Wow, you're still alive!!"

3. Express gratitude for whoever invented pizza. (Until a specific name is revealed, just thank "The Italians")

4. Poke left boob a few times

5. Eat a sandwich

6. Explain to the cats what "non-renewable energy source" means

7. Find out what would happen if I ate 500 grams of fiber

8. Learn to speak Canadian, and become a translator for the U.N.

9. Go to nearest gas station and start dancing in circles around the pumps for no reason.

10. Make up a pretend country named "Tinkerflox" and compose its national anthem. Nominate several bloggers to serve as its parliament. Crown self as Queen, then complain about the dwindling power of the monarchy.

11. Poke right boob a few times

12. Create reclining chair with skis on the bottom, so I can be lazy and outdoorsy at the same time, drinking a refreshing beverage while plummeting down a snowy slope

13. Memorize names for all the bones in the body. Rename them as people. Examples:
Femur would now be called "Sue."
Clavicle is now "Orville."
Tailbone is now "Bradley."
Third rib on the right is "Ebenezer."
Maybe the humerus could be "Janna".

That would look really great on a resume.
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