Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Impossible Handful

A few nights ago I had dinner at McDonalds.
I like lots of ketchup on my fries, so usually I ask for a "handful" of ketchup. The window person usually says "sure, no problem," and drops a fistful of ketchup packets in the bag.
But that night there was this other guy, and his response was a little different.

"Can I get a handful of ketchup with that?" I asked.

"How many?"

"Just a handful is fine."

"No, I need a specific number," he insisted. "You have to give me a number. Four? Five?"

"Six," I blurted out, just because it was the first number that came to mind.

Satisfied with the utterance of an actual number, he started counting out packets.

"Is that, uh, some new policy?" I wondered aloud.

"No, we've always done that," he lied. "We can't ever give a handful, because...." he leaned in, "... because MY hand might be bigger than YOURS."

"Oh, ok," I nodded, pretending to agree with his bizarre logic.



Angry said...

Well if ever I’m offered a 'fist full of fifties', then I'd like to nominate who's fist they should use. Like say, the Incredible Hulk's or Mister Fisto's for instance.

Janna said...

Angry: I've heard of the Incredible Hulk but I've never heard of "Mr. Fisto." Paul Bunyan might be a nice choice too. Or King Kong, if they hadn't killed him.

Mr. Fabulous said...

That actually makes sense.

Ha! You got schooled by a burger jockey!

Cincy Diva said...

I think he was coming onto you! Look how big my hands are! I can hold 6 ketchhup packs!

Green fodder said...

can't believe he actually said tht! :D

Meloncutter said...

I know the little light will go on over your head when I say this. But you turned his crank and he was hitting on you.

Its really hard for all of us to pray for you to find a man and get laid when you don't take the bait. Its like praying to win the lottery and not buying a ticket.

Work with us on this one. Please.

Later Y'all.

Mo said...

Flash him your boobs next time.
He'll get you a fistful then!

hellohahanarf said...

you really wanna screw with burger boy? pay in two dollar bills and susan b. anthony coins.
i do it all the time...priceless!

p.s. i love your clock. know where i can get one that counts down to the high holy day (st. patrick's day)?

Cindrarella said...

It takes an education you just don't have to understand the physics involved.

Time to vote at TGQDC!

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: Are you crazy? It makes no sense at all! None, I tell you! None!

Cincy: LOL! Except he didn't even try to hold them all at once. He just methodically counted them one by one. Weird.

GreenFodder: I know! Funny, huh?

Meloncutter: Thanks for your optimism, but somehow I really REALLY doubt he was flirting. I swear he was just being weird!!!

Morgen: But a fistful of WHAT? :o

Hello: There are a couple sites which will give code for countdown clocks. The one I use for my sidebar clock also offers countdown clocks.

Cindra: Hey! I have two college degerees! I am advanced enough to understand ketchup physics!

Travis said...

You know he counted them one at a time to prolong the time you were held captive at the window. You know that, right?

Desert Songbird said...

Gee, all this time I thought they had standard-sized prosthetic hands that dished out a measured amount of ketchup.

Julie said...

Hmmm that was odd. I suppose he had his reasons though.

Tee hee hee!

Janna said...

Travis: LOL! I still say no, he couldn't possibly have been flirting!

Songbird: Another dream, shattered!

Julie: He was a weirdo!

Wayne said...

Now to me, that made perfect sense!

Lynda said...

Next time ask him to hold the bin out the window, because then you would be using your own hand.

Pand0ra Wilde said...

Dayum! OCD much?

Janna said...

Wayne: It doesn't make any sense at all! Stop agreeing with Mr. Fab! LOL!

Lynda: Excellent logic!

Pand0ra: My thoughts exactly!

Martin said...

OC'Mc'D ???

Janna said...

Martin: LOL!!! That would have been the perfect response!