Friday, January 11, 2008

Behold the older Janna

It's finally happened.
I'm 38.
My hands are still wrinkly, and I noticed a couple more gray hairs on my head. But it's ok, because I've discovered a wonderful thing called denial!!
Denial is my friend! I'm NOT old! I'm young! I'm a pretty sixteen-year-old cheerleader with a perfect figure and beautiful blue eyes. Johnny Depp fantasizes about ME! I understand the theory of relativity, chaos theory, AND Google's PR algorithm. People love me! I speak fluent Japanese and can easily translate it into hieroglyphics. I am confident that the planet will never be decimated by a crippling deadly super-virus from outer space!
Denial! Denial! Denial!
La la la la la la!!!!
See? This isn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be!

Now, who wants cake?


Angry said...

Let me be the first to cingratulate you and your beautiful hands.
Happy Birthday, Janna

Janna said...

Angry: Aww, how sweet! Thank you! Here, have a piece of cake!

Sans Pantaloons said...

Happy Birthday Janna!
You are but a young lass with many talents. (I'll say anything for cake).

How about the Sistine Chapel driveway on your ceiling?

Libragirl said...

Happy birthday. Today is the best day ever to be a 16 y/o cheerleader. I think that if we went to HS together you would be a cheerleader I didn't beat up.

Have a super awesome wonderful day.

Sodapop said...

Happy Birthday! I hope it's a fantastic day for you!

I turned 38 in September and thought my life was ending. I just kinda sucked it up and moved on. I'm sure I'll freak out again at either 39 or 40 lol

the teach said...

Janna, Denial! What a great idea! I deny my years too...I'm 38 just like you. Ah to be young again! Oh Janna, it's all relative...and I can't stand relatives! :)

Robin said...

I'm turning the big three oh next month, any wise words?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

and there is no such thing as gravity either! happy birthday janna!

smiles, bee

Amanda said...

Happy Birthday!

Desert Songbird said...

Screw the piece of cake - I want the whole damn thing! I'm in total denial that I'm about to turn 46 in just a few short weeks.


Teri said...


See, isn't denial WONDERFUL?

pass the cake, please.

Mo said...

Yes, Google's PR shit DOES make sense and Gravity Is My Friend!
Denial is a wonderful thing!
I have a special blogging-buddy-birthday shout out for you over @ It's a Blog Eat Blog World!
(and hopefully your package will arrive in the mail today, if I planned it correctly!)
Love ya,

Lynda said...

Happy birthday!! I sent you wishes on my blog too, but it pretty much is what I just said.

metalmom said...

Happy Birthday (or Bitchday)!

You are only twenty-eighteen. See? Younger already!

Now where's my cake!??

Linda said...

Considering I am turning 50 this year, I refuse to feel sorry for you in the least! Ah, to be 38 again ...

Happy Birthday, though, and if you just can't bring yourself to say that you're 38 years old, just call it the 9th anniversary of your 29th birthday!

Tenacious B said...

Speaking of, I'm trying to decipher your solution to Fermat's Last Theorem. I get the part about the vat of chocolate, but how can you integrate the topology of a diaphragm into the equation?

And Happy Birthday, toots.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! The world is a better place because you were born!


Anonymous said...

I liked 38 so much I've stayed there 9 more times. Try it - you'll like it! (oh wait, you might be too young to remember that one...)

Bond said...

Denial - River - Egypt

38 - ummm I am thinking... I know I was 38 once...but it was not a significant enough year for me to remember...


golfwidow said...

Happy birthday. I'm glad you're in denial, because I am too, and would be happy to share your delicious calorie-free cake with you.

Janna said...

SansPantaloons: Can I put YOUR driveway on my ceiling?

Libragirl: How sweet! Thank you for not wanting to beat me up!

Sodapop: Oh, yes, me too. I shudder to think how much freaking out I'll do before I turn 40.

Teach: I thought you were twelve.

Robin: None at all! Good luck! Try not to get killed in a freak accident!

Bee: I really hate gravity. So do my boobs.

Amanda: Thank you! Have some cake!

DesertSongbird: Maybe we can go buy TWO cakes, and each of us can have one.

Teri: Thank you! Have some cake!

Morgen: Your package arrived today! Thank you very much!!

Lynda: Thank youuuu!! :) Come in and eat cake with us!

Metalmom: Twenty-Eighteen. I like it! Yes!

Linda: Ninth anniversary of my 29th birthday! Yes! I like that too!

TenaciousB: It's easy if you remember to carry the one, and avoid the metric system at all costs.

Lois: Aww! How sweet! Thanks! I hope the rest of the world feels the same way!

Peggy: LOL! So I could say "I liked 21 so much, I stayed there 17 more times!"

Bond: Hopefully this year will be significant enough for you to remember! :)

Golfwidow: Yay for denial! Sure, OF COURSE the cake is calorie free and fat free and carb free.... Have more!

Jamie said...

Happy Birthday.

Repeat greeting as often as necessary for the next 100 + years.

Mr. Fabulous said...

I don't think you are 38 yet. Weren't you born pretty far into the evening?

Michael C said...

Well Happy Birthday! I could get used to this denial thing! Especially on Monday mornings.

Poppy Cede said...

Hey, old lady! Happy birthday! ;)

The Absurdist said...

This dude asked me to wish you a happy b-day. Happy B-Day. All I can say is, Thank god you are older than me!!!!


Heather said...

Happy 38th, woman! Your presence on the planet and in the human race makes the whole place just a bit brighter!

Shelli said...

Happy birthday, girl!

Finn said...

If you don't like 38, I'll trade ya. ;)

Do what I do: Tack on 10 years. Then people will envy the hell out you for looking so amazing.

Happy Birthday sweetie!

EC said...

Happy 38th Janna!! Hope you had a great day :)

(Mr. Fab sent me over, but I'm glad I came, I enjoy your blog!)

Neil said...

Happy birthday!

aka_Monty said...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope you have had a wonderful day!

Forgive me if I don't offer any sympathy, I hit the big 4-OH in April.

;) xoxo

Travis said...

Am I late? Is there any CAKE left?

Wait...are you serving denial CAKE?

Happy Birthday!!!

**tosses confetti and flaming walnuts while juggling leprechauns and singing in the rain**

Will you make me a denial CAKE when I turn 44 in April?

Fantastagirl said...

Happy Birthday! Have an awesome day!!!

Turnbaby said...

Happy Birthday Sugar

this seems to be the month for quite a few bloggers

Edog is tomorrow and Dixiechick is the 17th and I am sure I amissing two or three

Have a wonderful day youngun

Janna said...

Jamie: Thank you. I'll photocopy your comment and paste it on my calendar for the next hundred years or so.

Mr. Fab: I think it was at 10:37pm.

MichaelC: Mondays are PERFECT for denial.

Poppy: LOL! So far you are the first commenter to address me as "Old Lady." :)

Abs: Thanks for visiting and listening to the "dude". :)

Heather: Wow!! That sounds pretty important. Does this mean I have to wear underwear?

Shelli: Thank you! :)

Finn: Hmmmm... so if I said I was 48, then, people would say "Wow, you don't look a day over 38..." Or, worse, they'd say "Are you sure you aren't fifty?"

EC: Thanks for visiting and listening to Mr. Fab! :)

Neil: Thanks for being here! :)

Monty: Thanks for visiting, and good luck with the 4-0 in April. :)

Travis: Are you serious? 44? You? Noooo. It can't be! I thought you were, like, 25 or something. Are you sure you're not 25? Here, have some CAKE and tell me the truth.

Fantastagirl: Thank you! :) Thanks for visiting!

Turnbaby: And you are the first commenter to call me "youngun." :) Heh. So in one day I've been called "Old Lady" and "Youngun". Actually I'm both at once. I like the unpredictability. Here, have some cake.

Meloncutter said...

Happy Birthday.

I have come to wish you a beginning to another year. If you promise not to grab me and throw me to the ground and fondle me, (well just dont throw me to the ground) I will give you a big juicy


for your birthday.

You know I ain't the huggy ass kissy kissy type.

You can let go of my weiner now.

Later Y'all.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Oh my, this brings back memories. Remember what we did for your 19th birthday? I took you out to the look out point just east the city and we made sweet love in the back of my El Camino until the sun came up. I told you that you looked beautiful and you cried a little. Those were good times and I miss them.
Anyway... happy birthday, Janna!

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Just what I always wanted!

Gwen: Gosh, has it been that long? Sorry I didn't visit you in prison all those years. Please don't kill me like you killed that mime. Oh, and you still owe me seven bucks for dinner.

Amazing Gracie said...

You're just a kid, my dear! Just wait 'til the clock strikes 60.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY and all that goes with it...

New York City's Watchdog said...

Am I late??? Yeah... what else is new? I know I know... New York, New Jersey, blah blah blah.

Happy Birthday and cheers to a new year that is one step closer to collecting that big Social Security check!!!!!

Miss Britt said...

Oh shoot - I'm a few hours late.

Happy Birthday just the same!! I'm a Capricorn too (17th).

Hope you HAD a great birthday. :-)

Julie said...

Wow! See you ARE loved! Happy belated birthday.

Mo said...

Wow - 43 comments on your birthday post. More comments than years, that's gotta mean something!

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Looks like I missed the party, but Happy Birthday anyway!

hellohahanarf said...

enjoy dancing in de nile, oh cleopatra! happy day. i'm glad you were born.

Squirrel said...

WooHoo Happy Birthday!!!

Shelia said...

Happy Birthday to ya! May you be blessed with health, wealth and many more years!

Cincy Diva said...

Happy Belated Janna dear! I hope you had a great one!

Vulgar Wizard said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Janna!
Sorry I'm so late with this. :(

Janna said...

Gracie: Can I take the battery out of the clock so it won't strike 40, or would that be the same thing as dying?

NYCWD: Wow! Thanks for visiting!

Britt: Yay for Capricorns!! :)

Julie: Me? Loved? Wow!

Morgen: Amazing, isn't it?

Pixie: Thanks! There's still some cake left, if you want it!

Hello! I'm glad I was born too! :)

Squirrel: Thank you! :)

Sheila: Thanks! And may I find a couple twenties in the cushions of my couch!

Cincy: Things went well! Thank you!

VulgarWizard: Thanks for stopping by! Have some cake! There are still a few pieces left...

Steven said...

Sorry for the belated blog birthday wish (but I did text you!). Hope it was a good one...Oh, what the hell. Why don't you start the celebration all over again?

Janna said...

Steve: Well, you didn't text me until I texted you first, so that doesn't count! LOL! :) We can still celebrate, though. :)