Monday, December 24, 2007

Manic Monday: Joy

For those of you who tuned in to Turnbaby's Radio Show last night, we read a lot of holiday-themed haiku.
I read ten that I had written just for the occasion.
Here they are:

Festive Offerings
Chestnuts and Figgy Pudding
I would rather starve
Listen, Santa Boy
Bring everything I told you
And no one gets hurt
Never stand naked
Too close to the fireplace
Singed pubic hair: Bad.
The North Pole is here
One big Michigan winter
Now my hands are numb
Tasty sausages
Glowing with flavorful spice
Delicious Rudolph
Instead of cookies
He ate my old leftovers
Santa?? Speak to me!!
Chestnuts roasting on...
Hey, never mind. You take them.
I hate burning nuts
Three year old egg nog
Deadlier than silent farts
But with more protein
All the naughty elves
Like to watch me undressing
They like bad girls best
Alien Christmas
Probed with mistletoe again
E.T. can kiss my ass
And now, for three more written just for Manic Monday, with the word "Joy."
You light up with joy
Seeing me fall on the ice
Lousy sick bastard
I need more cookies
Soft, warm, chewy chocolate chip
Biting into joy
If I had to choose,
Joy or Cheaper gas prices
Wait... wait, lemme think...

Manic Monday on my other blogs:
Jantrails: Changing your name to Joy or Janna
Jantics: 12 things that bring me joy

Oh, and if you want to listen to the show I co-hosted, here....


crazy working mom said...

OMG, those were great! I LOVED the second one. :)

Merry Christmas, Janna and Happy Manic Monday.

Square1 said...

Ah Haiku, even the naughtiest of things become profound when pared down to a few syllables. Nicely done, Jannah.

Robin said...

Getting too close to the fire when naked is bad, especially if you haven't shaved.

Villager said...

Merry Christmas! Yours was a creative MM story! I really liked the second one (..."listen Santa boy...").

If you have time or inclination I invite you to visit my MM-post as well.

peace, Villager

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

You are so talented. Those are all great. I love your sense of humor. Have a great MM and Merry Christmas. :)

Mo said...

Sorry I couldn't listen last night.
I was holding my little sick Chloe.

I had to chuckle at your haikus, esp "singed pubic hair: bad"

And when I pictured you falling on the ice and the old snake-handler church ladies praying over you but NOT helping you up! Bitches!
Which always makes me wonder if Christian Scientists have medicine cabinets in their bathrooms, and if so, is anything in there???????????????????????

Ho Freakin Ho

Julie said...

Dagnabbit! i missed the show!

Merry Christmas!

Mr. Fabulous said...

How is it that none of them mentioned me?

Janna said...

Here I am, guys! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer!!

CWM: The second one DOES seem to be popular, which kinda surprises me, actually.

Square1: Well, I'm nothing if not profound. :)

Robin: I know! Tell me about it!

Villager: Thanks! That's another vote for the second one, huh?

Sandee: My favorite is the one about the aliens. :)

Morgen: Have a good holiday season, and I hope things get better for you and your loved ones.

Julie: You can still listen to the archives!

Mr. Fab: Well, none of YOUR haiku have ever mentioned ME, so I guess we're even.

Travis said...

Those were terrific!

Janna said...

Travis: I'm glad you like them! :)