Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thirteen delirious thoughts I might have had while I was very very sick

1) People would look better if there was a third ear right on the tip of their chin.

2) Look at all the dancing kangaroos! How do they stick to the ceiling like that?

3) My name is Gertrude and I play the accordion.

4) I will crush you with my magic super spleen of invincible-ness!

5) Maybe American Idol wasn't so bad after all.

6) The carpet is growing into my private jungle of solitude! Enter if you dare!

7) My consciousness is swirling into a dizzying centrifuge of marshmallows and graham cracker crumbs. Wait..... was that a square of chocolate?

8) You can have my first kidney, and maybe my second kidney, but you can never take my top secret hidden "third" kidney. It's in the witness protection program and is currently under a false name. I can't tell you the name, but it rhymes with "shiver".

9) I had no idea plaid flamingoes could sing so well!

10) When you stop to think about it, bran cereal is REALLY sexy.

11) If there were any flowers around, they could hear my thoughts.

12) Somewhere in South America is a pack of coyotes that ritualistically dedicate all their prey to the toes on my left foot.

13) Oh, look, it's a dozen tailgaters, and they're all being dropped head first into a big vat of vanilla pudding.... Quick, seal the lid before they can get out!!
.

14 comments:

crazy working mom said...

I love your #13. It goes with my Manic Monday! :)

Glad you're no longer delirious...or are you?!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh please. It is time that people heard the truth.

You were not ill. You were not laid up. You were not even in Michigan.

You were at a hotel in Peoria, Illinois, shacked up with all the members of Del Leppard, gettin' freaky with all sorts of lubes and jellies and lotions and big jungle cats.

Fess up!

Turnbaby said...

LMAO at number 6 LOLOLOL

Lee said...

Janna, you're scaring me with number 5...you were more than delirious, you were on the brink of losing your mind completely.

Morgen said...

Your "private jungle of solitude" scares me more than anything else on this list...
Well, except for #5

Lynda said...

I didn't really believe you were that sick until the American Idol one! Man, you were on your death bed!

I hope you feel better!

Asara said...

People underestimate the power of the spleen. They really do.

katherine. said...

wow... they gave you really great drugs!

hope you are healing.

Marilyn said...

It's good to have you back.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

cake heal stuff janna. trust me...

smiles, bee

angell said...

What was your prescription for and can your dr call mine to get me some?

WOW - love it....

Janna said...

CWM: Maybe a little delirious... how do I tell the difference?

Mr. Fab: Lubes and jellies and lotions.... ohhhhh. So THAT'S why my ass hurts.

Turnbaby: #6?? I would've thought you'd get a kick out of #5, being an AI fan and all...

Lee: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!

Morgen: I know. #5 is pretty scary.

Lynda: Don't worry. I've regained my senses. Well... relatively speaking.

Asara: Exactly! Oh, if only people knew...

Katherine: Actually the drugs weren't that great.

Marilyn: Thank you!

Bee: Please send cake.

Angell: It was Darvocet and Vicodin, but they really didn't help much with the pain...

Juby said...

Coyotes devoted to your toes in South America..frightened children in Ethiopia devoted out of fear to the image of Kristen making..'The face' lol...man..how do I get my own following?

Janna said...

Kyle (Juby): It helps to make a lot of burnt sacrifices.