Number six is starting to sound good

The hot weather brought lots of rain and storms, and now a cooler front has moved in.
The storm winds have left a mid-sized tree limb in my yard.
It's about 8 feet long, about the diameter of a small shrub, and it's too heavy for me to move. I tried. I'm sure a big strong guy could lift (or drag) it with no problem, but alas; I am a weakling.

Things I could do with this limb:

1. Chop it up into beverage coasters and attempt to sell them to you for $4.95 plus shipping.

2. Climb under it and wait to see how many people try to rescue me

3. Pick off the leaves and make a salad (thankfully the rain washed off all the bird poop).

4. Send a huge chunk of it to Mike Mills and beg him to autograph it

5. Send myself along with it and beg Mike Mills to autograph me instead
(And then we can eat salad off our new coasters...)
(Hopefully he'll see I'm all bark and no bite.... Ha! Get it? Tree? Bark?)
(No, wait... I've got another one... the salad would have "branch" dressing....)

6. Bonk myself over the head with it and get a few extra hours of sleep

7. Forget about it and wait for the elements to slowly dissolve it over the next hundred years
.