Thursday, July 8, 2010

No teeth were harmed in the making of this post ... (Ooops, wait... Never mind)

Today I tried yet another British grocery item.
This time it was Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles.
I was expecting to like them, after the comments Mik and MikeWJ left on last week's post.

I imagined something soft and pleasantly chewy, like gummy bears.

Instead, they are a cross between gumdrops, leather, and sandpaper.

Very tough and hard to chew, with a tooth-scrapingly hard coating of sugar crystals.

They are so sweet they make Disney princesses look like ear wax.

The box has pictures of the fruit flavors: Strawberry, Orange, Lemon, Lime, and what looks like Blueberry but definitely isn't. In fact, I'm 94% sure it's Black Currant.

Brief side story: 22 years ago, I spent about a month in Europe (Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden). While there, I developed a sore throat and had to buy cough drops. I ended up getting some black currant flavored ones, and quickly discovered that they tasted horrible.
Black currant is not fruity at all, but kind of ugly and under-achieving and perhaps so bitter about its shortcomings that it actually laughs at the unattractive faces people make when they try it.

Blecchh.

P.S. While I was in Sweden, a bird pooped on me.
.

9 comments:

Unknown said...

What I like best is how it all flows together so logically.

Janna said...

Frank: Kinda brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...
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nonamedufus said...

Yay, he's back. And he's saying why don't you leave the box of pastilles out in the back yard where a bird might poop on them.

PattiKen said...

OK, I like black current. A lot. But I'm the one who likes Brussels sprouts too. So there it is.

P.S. The Swedish bird probably likes black current too.

Chris said...

Black Currant? Isn't that the name of a rock band? Should be.

Anonymous said...

I do like them although they may have changed them since I last tried them.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I'm shocked--SHOCKED!--that you didn't like them. They are one of my all-time favorite candies, especially the black currant flavor. When I get them, I eat them until my mouth bleeds.

By the way, I like stale licorice,too. I don't like soft, gummy candies. It's like eating sweet boogers. Or so I've heard.

I'm sorry that bird pooped on you, though. That's just rude, especially since you were a guest in its country. It should've offered you some candy instead.

Janna said...

Spam guy who I deleted: Just so you know, I have all my spammers spayed and neutered.

nonamedufus: If the world had any justice, birds would only poop on spammers.

PattiKen: Maybe you would like Black Currant flavored Brussels Sprouts!

Chris@Knucklehead: I agree!

miksplace: When you tried them, were they soft?

MikeWJ: You eat them until your mouth bleeds? So that would take, let's see... maybe one and a half?
Would sweet boogers be more appetizing if they were rolled in sharp shards of sugar and left to go stale for a few years?