Thursday, July 8, 2010

No teeth were harmed in the making of this post ... (Ooops, wait... Never mind)

Today I tried yet another British grocery item.
This time it was Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles.
I was expecting to like them, after the comments Mik and MikeWJ left on last week's post.

I imagined something soft and pleasantly chewy, like gummy bears.

Instead, they are a cross between gumdrops, leather, and sandpaper.

Very tough and hard to chew, with a tooth-scrapingly hard coating of sugar crystals.

They are so sweet they make Disney princesses look like ear wax.

The box has pictures of the fruit flavors: Strawberry, Orange, Lemon, Lime, and what looks like Blueberry but definitely isn't. In fact, I'm 94% sure it's Black Currant.

Brief side story: 22 years ago, I spent about a month in Europe (Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden). While there, I developed a sore throat and had to buy cough drops. I ended up getting some black currant flavored ones, and quickly discovered that they tasted horrible.
Black currant is not fruity at all, but kind of ugly and under-achieving and perhaps so bitter about its shortcomings that it actually laughs at the unattractive faces people make when they try it.


P.S. While I was in Sweden, a bird pooped on me.


Frank said...

What I like best is how it all flows together so logically.

Janna said...

Frank: Kinda brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...
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nonamedufus said...

Yay, he's back. And he's saying why don't you leave the box of pastilles out in the back yard where a bird might poop on them.

PattiKen said...

OK, I like black current. A lot. But I'm the one who likes Brussels sprouts too. So there it is.

P.S. The Swedish bird probably likes black current too.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Black Currant? Isn't that the name of a rock band? Should be.

Anonymous said...

I do like them although they may have changed them since I last tried them.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I'm shocked--SHOCKED!--that you didn't like them. They are one of my all-time favorite candies, especially the black currant flavor. When I get them, I eat them until my mouth bleeds.

By the way, I like stale licorice,too. I don't like soft, gummy candies. It's like eating sweet boogers. Or so I've heard.

I'm sorry that bird pooped on you, though. That's just rude, especially since you were a guest in its country. It should've offered you some candy instead.

Janna said...

Spam guy who I deleted: Just so you know, I have all my spammers spayed and neutered.

nonamedufus: If the world had any justice, birds would only poop on spammers.

PattiKen: Maybe you would like Black Currant flavored Brussels Sprouts!

Chris@Knucklehead: I agree!

miksplace: When you tried them, were they soft?

MikeWJ: You eat them until your mouth bleeds? So that would take, let's see... maybe one and a half?
Would sweet boogers be more appetizing if they were rolled in sharp shards of sugar and left to go stale for a few years?