Thursday, June 10, 2010

DON'T read this! (No, wait! Come back!)

Welcome to another post where I try interesting stuff I found in the British section of the supermarket.

Today's post will be about something called a "Yorkie Bar".

What first caught my attention as I saw this sitting on the shelf was its slogan. Printed on the side in huge letters are the following words:


I blinked in surprise and grabbed it immediately.

"We'll just see about that," I muttered to myself as I plunked it in my shopping cart.

This probably is exactly what the marketing strategists had in mind.

If vegetables had slogans like "Don't you DARE eat this!", everyone would be craving spinach and asparagus. We'd all be healthy and skinny, and we'd giggle with hedonistic glee because we were buying vegetables after they told us NOT to.

Anyway, I successfully bought the Yorkie bar.
The cashier did not ask for my birth certificate, or a copy of my DNA, or anything else to verify my gender.
Flashing lights and sirens did not go off as I exited the store.

Unsure of what manly delights to expect, I opened the package and saw a bunch of hunks of chocolate. I bit into one, wondering what the filling would be.

No filling.

It's all 100% solid chocolate, through and through.

Lots and lots of chocolate.
367 calories and 21 grams of fat. (!!!)

Pretty good, though I wish it came in a high-quality dark chocolate version.
(or would that be too girly?)

After finishing it, I didn't feel any more masculine than before.
Although, come to think of it, I can now sing baritone, and change the oil in my car, and shave patterns into my chest hair... and finally I understand the difference between a touchdown and a home run.

I'm sure that's just a coincidence.


Marla said...

If they tried to sell that in California there would be lawsuits. I might send a case to my California. :-)

Janna said...

Marla: Are your sisters lawyers?

Marla said...

No, but they will need lawyers after passing these out. :-P

nonamedufus said...

You're thesis about vegetables just wouldn't work for me. Years ago my mother tried every strategy she could think of and they didn't work. Of course I now have a set of blackened teeth and no body hair but, hey, these are the sacrifices some of us make.

Monkey Man said...

I was a bit concerned you weren't gong to make a vegetable reference. Thanks for not dissappointing. Now - Don't think of elephants.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

What are little boys made of? Snips & snails & puppy dogs tails.

I'll let you in on a little secret that will horrify most Americans: The Yorkie bar isn't for girls because it contains a trace amount of dog protein (hence the name, Yorkie) that's blended with the chocolate. Check the ingredient panel carefully and you'll see what I mean. It's one of the last ingredients. My mother, who's English, tells me the Yorkie bar was originally a way to introduce more protein into the diet during World War II, when food was really scarce. Strange, I know.

Anyway, that's also why there's a companion candy bar "not for boys" called a Cinnie. It's made by the same company and it's a bar of chocolate mixed with a trace of cinnamon, like Mexican chocolate.

What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice...

The English are fond of their poetry, I guess.

Janna said...

Marla: I see!

nonamedufus: No body hair? Well, at least you've saved a fortune on depilatories.

MonkeyMan: I was going to answer your comment but I was too busy thinking of elephants.

MikeWJ: The odd thing is, I wouldn't necessarily mind having dog protein; it's those snips and snails that frighten me.
Of course, I'm not fond of cinnamon either, so I guess there's no hope for me.

Bob said...

I'd forgotten all about those, I love those things, Double Decker bars are good too if you can find them.

Janna said...

Bob: I've never heard of a Double Decker bar... I wish my supermarket had more things for me to try. This really has been fun, trying unfamiliar things every week. :)