Monday, April 26, 2010

And don't forget to take the exit at Jupiter

When the aliens finally arrive, I hope they realize the following things:

1. I taste terrible.

2. I do not wish to be awakened on a Saturday before 10:00 am.

3. Starboard means right, Port means left. (I think.)

4. I realize you hate us and would like to force us into submission and make us eat space debris, but you're going to have to get in line just like everyone else.

5. Fresh cracked pepper is a lot better than that stuff that comes in a shaker.

6. They should abduct Martha Stewart first.
.

7 comments:

Jamie said...

Got bad directions from Hawkings ... I think he wants them to eat me first.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

You're so right about fresh-cracked pepper. It's way better than the store-bought stuff. It can make even the toughest, least tasty cuts of meat taste heavenl....oh, never mind, Janna. Sleep well.

Janna said...

Jamie: Excellent! If they eat you first they'll be too full to nibble on me.

MikeWJ: And it's good in soup! I had some in my chicken rice soup Monday. In fact, I... what? Oh, all right. I'll go to sleep now. I might as well. It's almost two in the morning.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

I'd like to ask human-eating aliens a couple questions, as also pondered by comic Daniel Tosh. Specifically, do people taste like their ethnicity? Are Mexicans spicy? If you eat a Chinese guy are you hungry an hour later?

We need to know these things.

Grace said...

Absolutely - especially #5 and #6...

Jenny Brown said...

You crack me up.....

Janna said...

Chris: Let's see... as far as I know, I'm a mix of Irish, German, English, Native American, and Scandinavian. So I would taste like potatoes, bratwurst, tea, corn, and raw fish.
That's unfortunate.

Grace: Martha might still taste like prison food...

Jenny: I try!