Saturday, February 20, 2010

The oxymoron of meatless ribs

Today I tried the Meatless BBQ ribs.
I was excited about it, since I love BBQ things, and figured this couldn't possibly be all that bad.
While they weren't horrible, they weren't exactly great either.
And I can't quite put my finger on what was wrong. (Besides, of course, the fact that they were meatless BBQ ribs which had never seen the inside of an actual animal.)

The appearance was curiously similar to meat.
The smell was decent enough, I guess.
The sauce was decent enough, smoky and sweet and plentiful.
The texture was semi-ok. It was extra tender, sort of like when ribs have been slow-cooked for so long that they just fall right off the bone. And yet...
The taste of the product itself... well... kind of oddly nondescript. Not meaty. And the more I started questioning the taste, the more I started questioning the texture.
I guess I could sum it up as being "Peculiar but not horrendous, but not something I ever plan on trying ever again."

(Nothing. I slept in! It's Saturday!!)

BBQ "riblet" sandwiches made from fake BBQ riblet meat

Ice cream cone


French fries
Yogurt with strawberries and blueberries
Bottle of Dasani water

Most fart-producing evening snack EVER:
Bean burrito
Onion rings



Anonymous said...

Heh, heh...had a BEEF and bean burrito the other work...heh, heh...and you mentioned onion rings? :P

Cheesy broccoli puffs...

And about your BBQ, two George Carlin references come to mind:

"Civil War is the biggest oxymoron I ever heard!"

...and this excerpt from "Ice box man" (upon not being able to I.D. the left-overs )..."Could be meat...could be cake...I know, it's MEATCAKE!!"

Akannie said...

Meatless bbq ribs. Oy vey.

I'm looking over your menus, gf, and thinking they don't look all that nutritious or healthy.

Eat some freaking vegetables for godssakes!!!!

*snork. Good thing this is only a one week'd be hobbling around with scurvy and shit.

Hey--come by Elegant Blessings and pick up an award, wouldja??

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

"Peculiar but not horrendous, but not something I ever plan on trying ever again."

What my first girlfriend said after our first kiss. True story.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

P.S. -- I'm you tried these for me. Now I don't have to. I didn't really want to. I don't meatless ribs sounds right. Sort of like Army Intelligence.

Janna said...

Subby: Ooooh, now I want cheesy broccoli puffs....

Akannie: Hey! I think overall my meals have been VERY healthy. Barring the occasional indulgence of ice cream or onion rings, I've been eating yogurt, fresh fruit, tea, stuff made from vegetables, and I've made sure all my bread choices were whole grain or multi grain or high fiber. I'm actually proud of how well I've done. And what?? Scurvy? After all the grapefruit I've eaten this week? No, I don't think so. :)

MikeWJ: You should've offered her a choice between meatless BBQ ribs and kissing you. She'd have leaped in your direction so fast there would have been a sonic boom.

MikeWJ: LOL! I thought of that while I was writing it. Meatless Ribs, Jumbo Shrimp, Military Intelligence...

Anonymous said...

Janna, having been in two branches of the military, I can laugh at that last bit...

Mik said...

We're looking to eat more healthily, but meatless ribs. I think I would forgo ribs entirely than those things.

Collette said...

Hmm...meatless ribs doesn't even sound appetizing in the least. My ribs have to be ALL meat. I don't even want to imagine what they would taste like. lol

Janna said...

Subby: I can only imagine!

Mik: Now that I've tried them, I agree!

Collette: I'm glad I tried them, just so I could quell the curiosity. Now that my curiosity has been tamed, I'm going to go back to eating the real stuff! Tomorrow! :)

Kathy M. said...

Hello. I've just discovered your blog, thanks to Elegant Blessings. I'm glad I did. Nice to meet you! I love your sidebars, especially your profile and the picture captioned "What I look like in the morning."

Janna said...

KathyM: Welcome! Thank you for visiting!