Friday, February 12, 2010

Finally, a use for celery

Things I have chosen to believe this week:

1. Wind chill comes from snowman farts.
2. Hot chocolate has no calories as long as you wave a piece of celery over it a few times.
3. Most people at Wal-Mart are certifiably insane and so are their kids.
4. Every time someone actually eats tofu, a teenager gets acne.


Alice Audrey said...

One of those I know is true.

g-man said...

And I believe that you are One Creatively Clever Classic Commedienne!!
Well done Janna.
Thank You for this fantastic bit of Whimsy.
You are like a Mack Truck of Brilliance , barreling down a highway littered with idiots!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End.

Janna said...

Alice: I KNOW the one about Wal-Mart is true. :)

G-Man: I sometimes resemble a Mack truck, in that I give off a lot of exhaust (depending on what I ate for dinner).

Susan said...

Now I feel guilty for eating tofu ;)
I’m up right HERE

Tall Kay said...

Very clever 55! Thank God I never ate tofu or shopped at Walmart (okay once). I thought celery was only grown to garnish Bloody Marys! :o)

Monkey Man said...

You are a true Goddess of "my kinda humor". Love you, kid. My 55 is HERE.

Cathy said...

Hiya, delurking to send you a link to a Rodney Carrington stand up bit on you tube about Walmart. It"s priceless and hilarious!


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I don't like to think about snowmen farting. That's gross.

Cathy said...

Ooops that link didn't work. Anyway its on You Tube if ya wanna check it out.

Peter Stone said...

I like the use for celery, I'll have to give that a go... And though I like tofu, putting it in everything?!

My 55 is here

Ronda Laveen said...

I bet the celery even zaps more calories if you use it as a hot chocolate stirer like you do in a Bloody Mary.

Great weight watching tip.

Hootin' Anni said...

Love, LOVE this. Snowman farts, insane children and the magic of celery. What could be more fulfilling that this?----Oh ya, tofu!!

My 55 "I Want No Flowers on My Grave".

[scroll below my show n tell as always]

Happy Valentine's Day Weekend!

Brian Miller said...

that would be about the only thing i would use celery for...thanks for the 55.

mine is up!

Anonymous said...

I actually have a Wal-Mart phobia. It's true...I've sought counseling. Maybe all I need is celery :)

Thank you for the giggles, though I don't believe the tofu bit!

I'm up here:
Friday Flash 55 ~ The Gift

Realliveman said...

Frosty took a huge dump on the east coast. He must have been farting too becasue it was windy and cold. LOL

Great 55!

Anonymous said...

I like celery - I've actually been craving celery these past few days - the nice cool crunch...

Enchanted Oak said...

Thanks for the laughter, Janna, on a foggy morning in my universe. Mine's up too.

Mona said...

this is like ticking the correct answer to a multiple choice question. The Walmart one is true! :)

Mama Zen said...

But, were those poor people certifiably insane before they spent time in Wal-Mart with their kids?

ShAKirA CHOONG said...

Ha ha ha.
I truly enjoy that.
Like the way you think.

(means WISHING YOU PROSPERITY! in Mandarin, Chinese)


Janna said...

Susan: It's ok. Hopefully you can blame it on other tofu-vores in the same area. :)

TallKay: I've never had a Bloody Mary but I do like tomato juice with tabasco sauce in it. So I've at least got a couple of the ingredients covered!

MonkeyMan: Yay! :)

Cathy: LOL! That IS funny. And true!

MikeWJ: Heeyyyy, wait.... who are you and what have you done with Mike?

Cathy: It's ok. I just copied and pasted it into the browser window and it worked. :)

PeterStone: I don't think I've ever had tofu, though it might have unknowingly crossed my lips in a Chinese restaurant or two. I hear it takes on the flavor of the surrounding ingredients, so in theory it might not be bad. I'm just squeamish about the whole "soybean curd" thing.

Ronda: What a great idea!

Hootin'Anni: It's better than insane snowmen and child-farts, at least! :)

BrianMiller: It's not bad once in awhile in salads and stir fries. :) I never got into the whole idea of putting peanut butter on a celery stalk, though I have tried it a couple times just to see what it was like.

ChefKar: LOL! I'm not entirely fond of Wal-Mart either, though once in a great while I force myself to go if I really need something. I hate the parking, though. And the crowds. And the hugeness which requires a vast trek from one end to the other. Bah. :)

RealLiveMan: Be careful not to slip in any of the piles!

Grace: See my reply to Brian... I do like celery once in awhile, in salads and stir fries. I have to be in the mood for it. When I'm not in the mood for it, the stringy bits kinda gross me out. I have to admit though, a stir-fry is starting to sound good...

EnchantedOak: Thank you for visiting on a foggy morning! :)

Mona: LOL! Any (or all) of them could be true, but if I had to choose just one, I agree with you-- definitely the Wal-Mart one. :)

MamaZen: Interesting point!

ShAKirA CHOONG: Thanks for visiting! Have a good weekend. :)

Nessa said...

1. I thought there was a faint oder in the air.

2. Good to know.

3. Already knew that one.

4. Don't touch it.

Purdie Pyrate

Mik said...

People actually eat tofu! Dang I thought you just cemented brick walls with the stuff.

PattiKen said...

Oh, I love this! You have a wonderfully quirky sense of humor!

Janna said...

Nessa: It seems like most people were already aware of #3. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who's noticed. :)

Mik: It's versatile! :)

PattiKen: Thank you! I try.