Remembering some more of my Twitters from 2008
It's cold enough to knock a frozen booger off a three-story penguin.
11:22 PM Jan 15th
I can't sleep! Someone tell me a story! I like the one about the 3 alligators who ate Goldilocks because she couldn't blow their house down.
10:04 PM Jan 19th
Drinking tea, watching The Price Is Right, and becoming embittered about life.
11:58 AM Jan 22nd
Luckily, one of my New Years' Resolutions was to let despair and bitterness fester in my soul. So things are working out well.
11:17 PM Jan 22nd
If I ever find a bat on my windshield, I am going to save it forever and ever.
1:00 AM Feb 4th
I wonder if penguins taste like chicken.
6:03 PM Feb 7th
Valentines Day is like the cancerous tumor in the prostate of life. Feel free to quote me.
4:35 PM Feb 14th
Looking forward to having Cheerios for breakfast tomorrow because they give me gas, which seems just about right for a Monday.
11:52 PM Feb 15th
And my throat feels like a porcupine slid down it, using a cheese grater for a sled.
8:24 AM Feb 17th
Feeling slightly better! I can breathe! Now I remember why people have been saying all those good things about oxygen.
1:22 AM Feb 21st
Note: Imaginary liver tastes just as bad as the real thing.
12:47 AM Feb 24th
Eating bean burritos and chili for lunch. Listening to my intestines rumble like a t-rex in jurassic park.
12:48 PM Mar 4th
No chicken sandwich is worth four dollars. Maybe if the breading was made of diamonds... But then it'd be hard to chew.
4:54 PM Mar 10th
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7 comments:
Much more entertaining than mine.
Yes, We Have No Bananas
"And my throat feels like a porcupine slid down it, using a cheese grater for a sled."
Ouch! You just gave me a sore throat from reading this.
And I agree about liver. Blech! These are awesome.
"... let despair and bitterness fester in my soul." That was one of mine! So, how's that working out for ya? :-)
Nessa: I do my best not to take Twitter seriously. :) 80% of the time I use it to send meaningless nonsense. :)
Jeff: My mom loves liver. My dad can't stand it. I'm glad I inherited his side, when it comes to that sort of thing. :P
Marla: Sometimes I end up eating chocolate instead. :)
I found a bat on the sidewalk once. Everybody thought it was dead. But I knew it was in torper because it was cold. So I carried it into the sun and after 10-15 minutes, it woke up, stretched its wings and flew away without so much as a thank you, leaving me there all alone. Which is why this year, one of my New Years' Resolutions will be to let despair and bitterness fester in my soul. That way, like you, I won't be disappointed.
P.S. -- I agree with you about chicken sandwiches.
MikeWJ: You could have put it in a cage and trained it to do your evil bidding! Wow, talk about a missed opportunity...
MikeWJ: Now you'll have to train other creatures instead, like cats and snowmen and librarians. Good luck with that.
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