Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Remembering some more of my Twitters from 2008

It's cold enough to knock a frozen booger off a three-story penguin.
11:22 PM Jan 15th

I can't sleep! Someone tell me a story! I like the one about the 3 alligators who ate Goldilocks because she couldn't blow their house down.
10:04 PM Jan 19th

Drinking tea, watching The Price Is Right, and becoming embittered about life.
11:58 AM Jan 22nd

Luckily, one of my New Years' Resolutions was to let despair and bitterness fester in my soul. So things are working out well.
11:17 PM Jan 22nd

If I ever find a bat on my windshield, I am going to save it forever and ever.
1:00 AM Feb 4th

I wonder if penguins taste like chicken.
6:03 PM Feb 7th

Valentines Day is like the cancerous tumor in the prostate of life. Feel free to quote me.
4:35 PM Feb 14th

Looking forward to having Cheerios for breakfast tomorrow because they give me gas, which seems just about right for a Monday.
11:52 PM Feb 15th

And my throat feels like a porcupine slid down it, using a cheese grater for a sled.
8:24 AM Feb 17th

Feeling slightly better! I can breathe! Now I remember why people have been saying all those good things about oxygen.
1:22 AM Feb 21st

Note: Imaginary liver tastes just as bad as the real thing.
12:47 AM Feb 24th

Eating bean burritos and chili for lunch. Listening to my intestines rumble like a t-rex in jurassic park.
12:48 PM Mar 4th

No chicken sandwich is worth four dollars. Maybe if the breading was made of diamonds... But then it'd be hard to chew.
4:54 PM Mar 10th
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8 comments:

Nessa said...

Much more entertaining than mine.

Yes, We Have No Bananas

Jeff said...

"And my throat feels like a porcupine slid down it, using a cheese grater for a sled."

Ouch! You just gave me a sore throat from reading this.

And I agree about liver. Blech! These are awesome.

Marla said...

"... let despair and bitterness fester in my soul." That was one of mine! So, how's that working out for ya? :-)

Janna said...

Nessa: I do my best not to take Twitter seriously. :) 80% of the time I use it to send meaningless nonsense. :)

Jeff: My mom loves liver. My dad can't stand it. I'm glad I inherited his side, when it comes to that sort of thing. :P

Marla: Sometimes I end up eating chocolate instead. :)

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I found a bat on the sidewalk once. Everybody thought it was dead. But I knew it was in torper because it was cold. So I carried it into the sun and after 10-15 minutes, it woke up, stretched its wings and flew away without so much as a thank you, leaving me there all alone. Which is why this year, one of my New Years' Resolutions will be to let despair and bitterness fester in my soul. That way, like you, I won't be disappointed.

P.S. -- I agree with you about chicken sandwiches.

Janna said...

MikeWJ: You could have put it in a cage and trained it to do your evil bidding! Wow, talk about a missed opportunity...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Shit! Why didn't I call you for advice?

Janna said...

MikeWJ: Now you'll have to train other creatures instead, like cats and snowmen and librarians. Good luck with that.