Friday, November 27, 2009

Now in new kiwi-strawberry flavor!

Have hiccups?
Try Xuziflox!
Side effects include blurred vision, stomach cramps, inability to parallel park, itching in inappropriate places at inappropriate times, yodeling, hair loss, uncontrollable urges to eat haggis, eyebrow twitching, moles shaped like Rachael Ray, and possible death.
But hey, those hiccups are gone!
Ask your doctor if Xuziflox is right for you.
.

34 comments:

Marla said...

You are just too dang funny, girlfriend. I have seen similar commercials to your parady. Or is it? :-)

Brian Miller said...

haha. yodeling and haggis! actually haggis is not that bad...i do hate the hiccups, so...lol. fun 55!

mine is up!

big Jenn said...

That's a riot! I'm your newest fan! jeNN

Alice Audrey said...

Yeah. Half the time the side effects really are worse than the original ailment.

Janna said...

Marla: Are there commercials like this? I don't watch much TV, so I don't know. It'd be funny if there were!

Brian: Ironically, one of the major causes of hiccups is yodeling while trying to eat haggis.

bigJenn: Yay! Welcome! :)

Alice: Sometimes! :o

Marla said...

Janna ~ Yes, there are. I thought they were a joke the first time I saw one. Who would actually take these meds? Not me, sister! I'll stick with my dang cooties. :-)

Janna said...

Marla: How funny! Yes, I'm with you. Let's just keep our cooties.
I can't afford Xuziflox anyway. :)

Dianne said...

ha!
Laughter boosts your immune system.
Here's the link.http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090417084115.htm

Thanks for visiting my 55 flash (non) fiction!
It's up!

Roxy said...

Whew, now that was funny... thanks for the great laughter- my tummy hurts!

Chef Kar said...

Too funny Janna! The commercials are terrible ~ they make me sicker just hearing them. Very cute 55...I think I'd rather a bog BOO to cure my hiccups.

Mine is up:

Friday Flash 55 ~ Memoirs

Hootin' Anni said...

Oh my gawd...but this is soooooooo funny. And excellent. I love the fact of the one side effect---inability to parallel park. I must have taken Xuziflox my whole life...I can't park parallel to save my butt. rofl

My 55 is "Going Cold Turkey"...skim down below my Show n Tell post to find it. Click Here

Mojo said...

*snort*

See the only thing unrealistic about this is that no real medication could list all the side effects in 55 words.

The Makers of Xuziflox may have a program where they'll subsidize your medication if you can't afford it. (Translation: They can't give the stuff away.)

g-man said...

The Jannaverse is a bit askew today again folks!
Most excellent 55 My Dear.
You do Michigan very proud!
Yes, those are Susies glasses on the floor.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Prayer Girl said...

Very cute 55.

As for me - just give me a big glass of water, I'll hold my nose with one hand, the glass with the other, and sip slowly at least 20 times just short of passing out and - voila, my hiccups will be gone!!! :)

Welcome to my blog Janna. Thanks for the comment. Love meeting new bloggers.

PG

Mama Zen said...

That's hilarious!

Monkey Man said...

You so caught the spirit of those commercials. Very funny, Janna. Love your stuff. This week my 55 is WAR!

Janna said...

Dianne: I'm glad to hear laughter will boost my immune system. :)

Roxy: Your tummy hurts? I think they make a medication for that... If you don't mind the side effects.

ChefKar: The commercials leave me feeling a little unsettled too. I try to remind myself that the side effects probably only happened to a very small percentage of the test group, but still...

Hootin'Anni: I'm generally pretty good at parallel parking, but instead I have trouble with the eyebrow twitching. Can't win.

Mojo: LOL! Exactly!

G-Man: I've been askew my whole life; why stop now?

PrayerGirl: I wonder if people can hiccup when they're passed out? Or is it something that requires consciousness? Hmmm...

MamaZen: I hope so! :)

MonkeyMan: The drug companies should definitely hire me as a marketing consultant, shouldn't they? (!!) I wonder how much they make....

otin said...

LMAO!!! It is so true! I really laugh at the ed ads! If you have an erection lasting 4 hours, call a doctor! hahaha! I am calling a photographer! LOL

Janna said...

Otin: LOL! And maybe an attractive person from the Guiness World Record book....

Dr.John said...

Wow! Better than a TV commercial. Great 55

Susan Anderson said...

Those side effects soung awful. Hic...hic...Well, maybe they don't sound that bad.

I'm up
http://inappropriatesue.blogspot.com/2009/11/55-flash-fiction-friday-recuring.html#comments

Susan at Stony River said...

That's hilarious! And just toooo true; I listen to some of those side effects on ads and wonder WHO would still take it?

What a great 55!

Janna said...

Dr. John: If someone ends up actually naming a drug "Xuziflox", I hope I get royalties.

Susan Anderson: It might not be so bad, except for the death and haggis.

Susan at Stony River: What gets me is they say it all so fast, like they're hoping you won't notice.

Felicitas said...

Hilarious! You got me at "New Kiwi-Strawberry Flavor"! Trying it just might be worth the risk. You should be in marketing!

g-man said...

Sooo...
You visit Monkey Man in your bath robe, but when visit me you put on your Ug boots and Carharts?
I'm Non-Plussed!!

Janna said...

Felicitas: I should!

G-Man: Hey, wait... I thought you LIKED Ug boots and Carharts.... Now I have to re-think my entire blogsurfing wardrobe.

g-man said...

Janna....
This Burlesque-Like sacrifice has shown me that you are indeed an icon in the ever shrinking world of the Witty Reparte'!!
I'll never again question how you accessorize whilst blogging, creating, or participating in my little Friday Funfest.
You are a welcome Oasis of Pepto Bismol...In a Desert of Nausea!
Carry On....

Fandango said...

We dragons all swear by Xuziflox if you need a terstimonal.
Good 55

Janna said...

G-Man: "A welcome oasis of Pepto Bismol in a desert of nausea"... Finally now I know what to put on my tombstone!

Fandango: This explains why I've never seen a dragon with hiccups...

Larry said...

Janna one must be down on both bended Knees with hands folded before one tries your concoction of Xuziflox
And by the way Otin that four hour erection isn't anything like what it's all pumped up to be no pun intended. Excruciating pain if you really want to know...


Mine is up just follow the link below.


Buggie Land

Janna said...

Larry: If your arthritis is too bad to get on bended knees, there's always this other medication with even better side effects! :)

Mr. Knucklehead said...

Not only that, it's worth about a zillion points in Scrabble!

On another note, a loaded .357 Magnum would cure hiccups too.

g-man said...

It was either that or...
"You are a Full-Service Rest Stop, on the Over-Active Bladder Turn-Pike!"

Janna said...

Mr.Knucklehead: Just imagine getting Xuziflox on a triple word score!

G-Man: So I have to choose between nausea and overactive bladder, then. Hmmmmm. Decisions, decisions.....