Monday, June 22, 2009

Please don't sell me for six dollars a bucket at the movies

Thoughts involving the word "POP":

Summer is my least favorite season. Call me crazy, but I detest the feeling of being stuck in a giant hot oily kettle, stirred around and around until my sanity finally POPS and someone pours me into a bowl with some butter and salt.
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Once in awhile I get an odd craving for Pop Tarts. I convince myself that they look so tasty sitting there on the shelf in the cereal aisle, just brimming with thick sweet ample fruity goodness which will cause my mouth to shiver with joy.
Then, inevitably, I buy a box and bring it home, only to be bitterly disappointed by the flavorless crust, tooth-scrapingly hard outer glaze, and barely a millimeter of filling which is so scant I sometimes blink and it disappears.

I only say this because my next Pop Tart craving is due to happen in another couple months, and I'm hoping one of you will remind me what I just said.

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There should be a "Bubble Wrap Of The Month" club, where they would mail you an industrial-size roll of the stuff every month. Whenever you needed to relieve stress, you could just unroll a section of it and start popping away.
Or, I guess the next best thing is to try some Virtual Bubble Wrap. (Like
here, or here... or here... Or here!)
Pop, POP, POPpoppop pop POP....

Ahhhhh. I feel better already.

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12 comments:

Da Old Man said...

Last week, Mrs bought some healthy version of Pop Tarts. They were even worse.
Low fat, low sugar, with even less taste.

Janna said...

DaOldMan: My condolences! Pop Tarts without fat or sugar? So what's left, then? A stale cracker?

subtorp77 said...

Janna, the virtual bubble wrap: tried it but you can't jump up and down on it! GAH!

And google a song called "Too Pooped to Pop!" Can't remember the artist but refers to popcorn :)

And yeah, low sugar pop-tarts are like low sodium bacon...taste-less!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Oh, I have to vociferously disagree here. Pop Tarts are pure heaven, especially the brown sugar cinnamon and the chocolate fudge (with an honorable mention going to strawberry frosted). If the world only had three foods, I would choose Pop Tarts, KFC Cole Slaw and New York Pizza.

We'd all be fat, but happy.

Janna said...

Subtorp77: I agree! Low sodium bacon is a complete waste of a perfectly good pig.

Chris: Hee! The ones that usually sound good to me are the blueberry ones, or the wild berry ones. I think I might have tried the chocolate ones once too. You can have them. :) You can have all my KFC coleslaw, too. But hey, at least we can both agree on the pizza!

Lynda said...

I feel the same way about Pop Tarts!

Marilyn said...

I kind of like some kinds of Pop Tarts but not enough to justify the calories... If I'm going to eat that much sugar it better be in ice cream or cheesecake.

VE said...

I used to eat pop tarts after school everyday at my grandmas. I could eat them now but I'd just be disappointed too...

Janna said...

Lynda: Yay! We should form a support group!

Marilyn: Very wise!

VE: Somewhere, someone is probably writing a Country music song about that.

Travis said...

Pop Tarts rock! Don't get the fruit ones. Get the chocolate fudge ones. Yummy, gooey, soft crust, and softer frosting layer.

whall said...

Have you tried Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts?

Janna said...

Travis: I'll try to remember that when the next craving hits. It's so agonizing to get my hopes up!

Whall: Nope! I haven't even heard of them. They sound good, though. Really good.