"It's a good thing..."

The Manic Monday theme is "spice".

I love, LOVE, LOVE hot spicy things, in much the same way that Martha Stewart loves taunting people who don't care about the difference between saffron and tarragon.

I'm willing to bet that when it comes to the REAL spice department, though, ol' Martha is a wuss.
When I imagine her cooking a pot of chili, I...

(*pause*)

Disclaimer: I rarely, rarely daydream about Martha. Honest.
No, really.
Well, sometimes.
Usually my Martha dreams involve strapping her to the prison wall and forcing her to watch me use "all purpose" flour instead of finely sifted cake flour.
It's amazing how loud that lady can scream.

Anyway, back to the post...

When Martha cooks a pot of chili, I imagine her saying something like:

"Now, we'll put just a little chili powder in here, but oh my goodness, not TOO much, because of course we wouldn't want it 'too spicy' now, would we? And be sure to take out all the seeds and membranes from the jalapenos, because *gasp* that's where all the heat is! And heaven forbid our perfect chili should be 'too hot'!"

This, of course, overlooks the following facts of life:

1. Chili powder is not hot, no matter how much you use.
2. Jalapenos are not really all that hot either, whether you leave the seeds in or not.
3. There is absolutely no such thing as chili that is "too hot".
4. I don't really have a #4, but just wanted you to know that I'm starting to daydream about the prison wall thing again.

I bet if you gave her and I each a really good hot bowl of chili, she'd melt away into nothingness, much like the Wicked Witch melted when Dorothy splashed her with the water.

I, on the other hand, would be asking if there was any left so I could have a 2nd bowl.

Spice is good.

Oh, look, I just happened to bring some pepper spray with me to the prison cell this time...
.