Saturday, May 30, 2009

Catch me if you can

If you ever want to catch me in one of those big cage traps in your back yard, here are some suggestions on what to use for bait.

1. Nachos with plenty of cheese and spicy meat and hot sauce. Mild sauce will only make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

2. Chocolate ice cream covered in hot fudge and at least twelve maraschino cherries. Whipped cream merely annoys me because it obstructs my path to the good stuff.

3. Pasta with delicious marinara sauce and meatballs, and a lot of hot buttery garlic bread on the side. (Bonus points if there's freshly grated parmesan cheese.)

4. A pizza with thin crust, four cheese blend, and enough meat to make all pigs and cows tremble in fear.

5. Chocolate covered orange peel. (Seriously. It's good stuff, and it's SO hard to find.)

Once you catch me, we can go inside and watch a few good movies, maybe play a few games of Scrabble, I can meet your pets and your family, and we can laugh and laugh until it's time for me to go home.

You.... ARE going to let me go home, aren't you?


Anonymous said...

I totally with ya on 2 through 5. I can provide all those things - and yes, you can go home but only if you promise to come for another go round. (ok, ok - I'll get you those nacho thingies)

Janna said...

Grace: It's a deal!

Me-Me King said...

It's 5:43 am and, after reading your list, I have to wait at least 5 hours before I can head out to scavenge for the food items you've listed. Thanks a lot, now I have to put up with a growling stomach and an inordinate amount of drool!

Da Old Man said...

Marinara sauce? I was all set to bait the trap with a kick ass meat sauce using ground sirloin.
Maybe next week.

Janna said...

MeMeKing: Happy scavenging! :)

DaOldMan: No, wait! Wait! Ground sirloin will be fine. Can at least some of it be in meatball form? I really like squashing meatballs into the tomato sauce. (It helps to squelch my pent-up aggressions.) Plus they're delicious.

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Marilyn said...

You can have all those things if I get a bathtub sized vat of whipped cream.

Janna said...

Marilyn: Is Cool Whip ok?