Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thirteen additions to the Jannapedia

(In case you're just joining us, the Jannapedia is a list of anti-spam "words" I've seen on Blogger lately. I've listed them here with their own definitions/usages.)

ABLESSIN: After Joe-Bob and Mary-Lou had their shotgun weddin', the preacher gave them a-blessin' and they went on with the honeymoon in the WalMart parking lot.

CROSE: There wer too many crose in the cornfeld so we shot sum and had em for dinner.

SHEEMOM: The opposite of a "Heedad".

TREEN: A tree between the ages of 12 and 20.

UNSTRAIT: Either crooked or gay. Not sure which.

STRAWK: The letter "K" was just too thick and pointy to get sucked up into the straw, which was quite an annoyance for the person drinking the alphabet milkshake.

HYDROSES: Really watery roses.

LATINGEN: Not to be confused with Greek Gen or Roman Gen.

DELEC: "Oh, this worm is delectable," Patty Perch tried to say, before getting fatally hooked on the fisherman's line and beginning her new career as a Friday Fish Basket.

BOLPH: The sound you make when trying to stifle a burp in public.

DIEST: (1) He who jumpeth out of planes with no parachute, usually diest. (2) After many long months of salary negotiations, the letter "G" finally gave up and decided to quit the Reader's Digest.

PROMAST: I nevr promast to lern how to spel. So quit naggning me abuot it.

SUBTRATI: The subtrati are a super-secret elite group who have devoted their lives and vital energy to subtraction. It's a way of life that can go WAY into the negative numbers. Unless, of course, they're subtracting negatives from negatives, in which case it goes into the positives again. I'm not a member. I swear.
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8 comments:

Marilyn said...

I think you got Promast from one of Jasmine's essays. I'm almost positive she used that entire sentence. If nagging won't work I may have to resort to scrabble. Do you think scrabble might help?

Da Old Man said...

All were funny as usual, but treen made me lol.

Yeah, I'm weird.

Grace said...

Clever and funny, as usual...

Janna said...

Marilyn: Scrabble might help, as long as you both look up each word in the dictionary before you play it!

DaOldMan: I think my favorite is either "Bolph" or "Ablessin".

Grace: Thank you! :)

VE said...

Those are great! I've devoted my life to subtraction...well, at least my 401K that is...

Janna said...

VE: If you can figure out how to subtract negatives from negatives, maybe you can get your 401K to go into the positives! Or at least you can drive yourself crazy enough so that you don't care anymore. Either way, it works.

whall said...

When you're at a fancy restaurant and the pompous waiter comes over while your mouth is full and asks if you want the cherry tort or the crepes for dessert, what do you say?

"Bolph."

Janna said...

Whall: Oooooh, I'd rather just have two of the cherry tortes!