Thirteen reasons to hate cold weather

1) If you gasp in amazement at the fact that McDonalds raised the price of their double cheeseburger from $1.00 to $1.19, your throat freezes.

2) If you try to sniff derisively instead, your boogers freeze.

3) If you reluctantly decide to buy one anyway, you might not be able to roll down your car window at the drive-thru because of all the ice holding it shut.

4) If you even THINK about buying something frozen (shake, sundae, flurry), your brain freezes in protest.

5) After you order the double cheeseburger (no onions) and pull up to the next window, your fingertips freeze as you try to dig spare change out of the wallet that got left in the car overnight.

6) In your arctic mental haze, the car in front of you starts to look like an igloo on wheels.

7) Gratefully taking your burger from the next window person, trying to say "thank you", but instead shivering and mumbling something that sounds like "th-thh-thzghsthkyou...."

8) Frozen tears of despair and frustration as you realize they made a mistake and put onions on your burger after you asked them not to.

9) Fruitless search for a parking space near the door instead of halfway across the parking lot, eventually parking next to some polar bears (who are about to eat a McSeal)

10) Slipping on the ice and falling on your face as you carry the erroneous cheeseburger back into McDonalds.

11) Nonchalantly explaining to concerned passersby that it's ok; you ALWAYS have frozen pickles stuck to your eyelids.

12) Awkwardly explaining to high-school-age McDonalds employee that they got the order wrong (attempting to ignore any tattoos, unfortunate piercings, or forked tongues)

13) Going back out to car with the correct cheeseburger, glancing in rear-view mirror, and finding that there was a frozen booger on your nose the entire time.
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P.S. Only eight of the aforementioned items have actually happened to me. I'll let you wonder which ones.
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