Friday, January 16, 2009

The "Pretending-To-Care" Whopper

A few days ago (in the comments here), GigglePixie asked me if I've tried the new "Angry Whopper" yet.
I had one today.
It supposedly has spicy onion rings, spicy pepper sauce, hot jalapenos, peppery bacon, and spicy pepper jack cheese. (And lettuce and mayo, but I got mine without those.)

It is also obscenely expensive. (Since when is it ok to pay five bucks for a burger?)
I feel like I need to eat Ramen Noodles for a week, just to do financial penance.

The burger is.... (wait for it).... NOT hot.
Not spicy. Slightly flavorful, but not spicy. Not hot. Not even medium.
Not angry.
It might have been angry at some point in its troubled past, but it has obviously undergone successful shock therapy since then. Or perhaps it's hooked on valium and just doesn't care anymore.
It's such a shame when burgers resolve their anger management issues before I have a chance to eat them.


Giggle Pixie said...

Oh man, that SUCKS! I'm so sorry I asked now! You are my hero for trying it though, and letting us know it doesn't stand up to the hype.

Oh, and I totally owe you 5 bucks! :-)

Aoi said...

You deserve an award for bravery and fortitude in the face of failed food.

Da Old Man said...

I even suggested you have one for your birthday meal. And you are right, it's not really hot. It's nicely spicy for a burger.
I'd rate it a 2 on my personal heat scale. I'm guessing it barely registered on yours.

Morgiana Le Fey said... disappointing...

whall said...

I can't do hot stuff... just can't. No enjoyment for me.

But I love me some whoppers. Often.

Janna said...

GigglePixie: It's ok. I probably would have tried it anyway. :)

Aoi: I know! :)

DaOldMan: Yes! OMG, yes, you sure did! Sorry I forgot to mention that! You're right; it barely registered. It was tasty in a slightly-savory sort of way, but definitely not hot.

Morgian: Very!

Whall: Well, since this was nothing even remotely resembling "hot", you should give it a try!

Lynda said...

For someone who likes things as hot as you do, I don't expect any establishment to make something hot enough to your liking. My soon-to-be ex is the same way.

I really need to fulfill my promise of getting you some stupid hot sauce. :( Did I ever give you the website?

Travis said... it not spicy to Janna-spicy tolerance? Or is it really not spicy hot?

These distinctions are important, because I'm a spicy wimp. I can't have it if there's the slightest possibility that it will be spicy to a person like me with abnormally low spicey tolerance.

Janna said...

Lynda: I would love to try "stupid hot sauce". It would make a great blog post. :)

Travis: I think it's probably about the same level of heat as "mild" salsa. Certainly less than "medium."