Friday, December 19, 2008

Janna tries chutney (and mangles the Canadian language)

Picture this:

Somewhere up in Saskatchewan, a bottle of barbecue sauce falls in love with a bottle of sweet-and-sour sauce. They live together for awhile, and start talking about getting married, but then the sweet-and-sour sauce has an affair with a bottle of worcestershire sauce.
Sweet-and-sour gets pregnant, and is not entirely sure who the father is.
So, when the kid is born, they all go on the Jerry Springer show and shout and throw chairs at each other before agreeing to do a paternity test.

That is exactly what tamarind chutney tastes like.

I know, because I've just tried it for the very first time in my entire life.

As you may remember from this post, Gwen sent me some to try.
This afternoon, with the help of a few chicken tenders, I did exactly that.

(Note: the rest of this post will be written in Canadian, as per Gwen's request.)

With all candour, I can honestly say that the flavour of chutney is intriguing. Let me endeavour to describe it. It's savoury, sweet, and tangy. I've heard rumours that some kinds are hot and super-spicy, but these were not. Not in the slightest. (That's ok. I harbour no ill will. I promise.)

Gwen sent two different kinds of tamarind chutney, and a bottle of green chili chutney.
She also sent a bottle of "sauce flambeau," which I guess is French for "hot sauce."

The sauce flambeau is your basic pourable hot sauce: semi-thick, tomato-based, and maybe slightly warm, but not truly hot. Still, it would probably be good on fajitas or tacos... or stirred into Spanish rice.

The green chili chutney (bright green colour) looks exactly like salsa verde mixed with pesto. Curiously, that's also what it tastes like. The predominant flavour (and odour) is chili peppers and garlic. I imagine this could be good stirred into taco meat. I can also see myself dipping tortilla chips into it, possibly after mixing it in with some cheese.

The tamarind chutney was more savoury and tangy. I have to admit, the texture was different from what I was expecting. I imagined it being thick and chunky, like the texture of salsa. But it was smooth and pourable, like tomato sauce. It was good with the chicken, and I imagine it would also be decent on bratwurst, steak, and maybe even a vegetable stir-fry with rice.
Of the two kinds of tamarind chutney I got, I think my favourite is the Shah brand.

Well worth spending a few loonies and toonies on!
Thank you, Gwen!
Er, I mean, masi, Gwen!
I feel honoured.

P.S.: My knowledge of the "Canadian language" was derived entirely from these two websites. If I have mangled it entirely, please don't send me to the Queen's hotel. I'm hoping my Canadian readers have a good sense of humour, eh?
You know I love all of you. Even if some of you eat poutine.


Gwenhwyfar said...

hahaha... that was fabulous. Sorry the chili chutney wasn't hotter. What can I say? I tried. And The hot sauce I wasn't expecting much from but I was hoping for "warm" at least. (And I have to agree - Shah's kicks Aki's ass around the block. Is it just me or is the Aki's a little too... I don't know, vinegary maybe? Acidic? Something.)
Also, it's so lovely to see you spelling things properly. Keep up the good work. ;)

Lynda said...

So, did you actually try them all and do you have a favourite?

XUP said...

It's MERCI, not masi and I didn't see one single solitary "EH" in here. The effort is appreciated, though. Also, I love tamarind.

Janna said...

Gwen: If, by "spelling things properly," you mean "adding a 'u' in strange places at strange moments, suure! I can dou thaut! I'll muake a nuote tou staurt douing that right auway.

Lynda: Of course I tried them all. Go back and read the post... LOL. :) I commented on each one. My favorite is the Shah's. :)

XUP: There was TOO an "eh" in there!! It's in the PS. Go back and look. The "Canadian phrase" website I consulted said that "Masi" is a form of "merci", but it's Chinook Jargon, used in Yukon and parts of northern BC and the NWT. So depending on where you are, "Masi" is correct.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Ah yes, that's much better. Thank you.
And look at you getting all Canadian jargon expert on everybody. ;)

Da Old Man said...

I entered the entire post into my Canadian-American English translator, and all it said was "Eh?"

I wonder if on the Canadian version of Wheel of Fortune when someone picks U, does the Canadian Vanna sighs because she has to turn a bunch more letters than our Vanna.

Travis said...

I've never had chutney. I didn't know what it was, until you explained its sauciness.

Janna said...

Gwen: Hee! Well, I have to become an expert on something...

DaOldMan: I picture the Canadian Vanna looking something like a cross between Cindy Crawford and Dudley Do Right. Is that wrong?

Travis: It's interesting. I like it. I definitely plan on finishing all the jars!

Mik said...

Nice to see a post with the correct spelling!

Been here in the States so long I rarely spell correctly anymore.

Off to bed as I am feeling decidedly off-colour (take that spell checker!).

Janna said...

Mik: You're feeling off-colour? Is that different from feeling off your rocker?