Monday, November 24, 2008

Who wants what?

I almost skipped Manic Monday this week, because I couldn't think of anything to write about for the "Harvest" theme. It just didn't inspire me.

The only non-boring thing I could think of was harvesting bodily organs.

Y'know how some people choose to donate their bodies to science? Some donate their organs to those who need transplants (or a nifty new piece of art for the coffee table).
With that in mind, I've considered donating my body to the blogosphere.

Who wants what?

1. Someone out there can have my spleen. Hopefully you'll have better luck figuring out what it does. I'm still not sure.

2. Whoever gets my kidneys, please be advised that they have a lot of practice filtering out tea. Back in the old days, they filtered out a lot of Mountain Dew also.

3. Be forewarned that my bladder will hate you if you drink a whole liter of water all at once. (Two words: DON'T SNEEZE.)

4. My appendix still seems to be as good as new. Please don't screw it up, ok?

5. My heart has been broken way too many times to be of much use for anything. If you tried using it for a vase, all the cracks would probably make everything leak out onto your nice new coffee table.

6. Whoever gets my brain, don't worry. The voices usually don't tell you to do much, other than write music, eat chocolate, and do strange blog posts.
.
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Note: Please wait until I'm actually dead before you start harvesting my organs.
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26 comments:

anthonynorth said...

A good, original post. And now I fancy a donor kebab ;-)

Giggle Pixie said...

I call dibs on your liver! Since I'll have one already lined up I can start drinking more and not have to worry about what my own liver will do with all the alcohol!

Da Old Man said...

I'm donating my body to science fiction.
It's very generous of you to donate yours to the blogosphere. If I were you, though, I would be careful to add a few caveats, or else you'll be writing SEO and make money posts long after your demise. Maybe insist it go to a humor blogger or some other worthy recipient.

Joel Klebanoff said...

Could I have your left earlobe? You never know when you'll need a spare. Are there many holes in it? Can it provide references?

Don said...

Hell, I want your broken heart. Broken hearts are more tender and tend to taste sweeter than ones that have never been torn and bruised. Yum!

Travis said...

I'm sorry but my condo is much too small for any more stuff.

Janna said...

AnthonyNorth: Kebab... But that would mean.... Hey!!

GigglePixie: Party time!

DaOldMan: Good point!

Joel: There are two holes in each of my earlobes, but I hardly ever wear earrings in them, so the holes aren't very big. Sadly, there are no references, unless you don't mind me falsifying a few documents while your back is turned.

Don: May I suggest a garlic pepper marinade?

Janna said...

Travis: Are you sure? You could probably fit one of my toes on a bookshelf somewhere...

whall said...

I call dibs on your uvula. Because I've always wanted to see Los Angeles.

The Offended Blogger said...

I shall take your liver. It will go good with a nice Chianti. :)

crazy working mom said...

This post totally cracked me up! What a great take on harvest.

Mine is not as creative, but it's a MM harvest nonetheless. You can find it here.

Janna said...

Whall: Wow, I think I understood that...

Chelle: GigglePixie already called dibs on my liver a couple hours ago. But maybe there will be leftovers. Bring a take-out container.

CrazyWorkingMom: I'm glad I cracked someone up today. :) Happy MM.

Jamie said...

Hang on to that spleen until the last second. You can live without one, but you wouldn't like it.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget...someone might want your skin...hopefully not hannibal lector!

Anonymous said...

Woops I forgot to fill in my name... http://www.havebabieswillblog.blogspot.com

earthlingorgeous said...

Oh my! I'm speechless! Hahaha!

Earth

Broadway Matron said...

I thought the same thing when I saw this Monday's word -

Faiqa said...

Heh. You know I just saw an SVU rerun about organ donors, harvesting, and buying. Did you know you can get a,most 100K for a kidney?! And I have 2!

Janna said...

Jamie: Hopefully people will wait until I'm dead before they reach in and grab any organs.

HaveBabiesWillBlog: I think Hannibal was into the liver, wasn't he? I seem to remember there was a different guy who kept the skins... Buffalo Bill or something like that. It's been a long time since I watched the movie.

EarthlingGorgeous: I'm glad you liked it. Here, want a lock of my hair to tide you over?

BroadwayMatron: Yay for similarly warped minds! :)

Faiqa: 100K??? Really? Wow. That would buy a lot of tacos....

Marilyn said...

100K? Maybe I ought to sell one.

I think the spleen does some kind of blood filtration. Might be a good thing for a vampire to have on hand?

Janna said...

Marilyn: I thought the spleen had something to do with fighting off infections. Not sure exactly how.

Janna said...

Marilyn(again): No, wait, I'm thinking of tonsils. The tonsils have something to do with fighting off infections. I think maybe the spleen does something to help kids' immune systems. Still not sure what it does for me at the ripe old age of 38. (Soon to be 39).

LL said...

I'll take your lungs. I've always wanted to take up smoking...

Janna said...

LL: I don't smoke, but I've smelled things that are even worse...

Mo said...

Darn, until I read the "note" I had my spork all ready for Harvest Mania!

Janna said...

Morgen: And don't forget your knork that you blogged about awhile back. That could come in handy too. Either way, you still have to wait until I'm dead.