The unique taste of disillusionment and groin sweat

I remember, growing up in the 70's, I saw
ads for "Fruit Stripe" gum. It looked yummy, but every time I actually tried it, I was always disappointed. I wanted delicious intense genuine fruitiness and fresh flavors.
Instead it tasted like artificial flavor drenched in sugar.
Which, of course, is exactly what it was.

And don't even get me started on the revolting abomination known as "Juicy Fruit" gum. It's neither juicy nor fruity. It tastes nothing like any fruit I have ever eaten. It not orange, or lemon, or raspberry, or any other recognizable flavor. It's just "sweet" in a yellow package. The fact that they refer to it as "fruit flavor" fills my soul with a dark nameless bitterness, much like a dog that has been poked too many times.

Luckily, I rarely chew gum these days.

Here are ten chewing gum flavors that might, hypothetically, be worse than either of the aforementioned brands:

1) Motor oil
2) Beach sand
3) Preparation H
4) Fertilizer
5) Dick Cheney's left kidney
6) Limburger cheese
7) Skunk
8) Groin sweat
9) The agony of defeat
10) Sushi
.
.
Come see me over at my other blogs today:
Jantics: Fearing the asphalt stripes of death
Jantrails: Admitting my ignorance of all things beer-related
.