Saturday, March 8, 2008

Two things

First: One of the nice things about being single is that if you start craving tacos at one in the morning, you can easily drive over to Taco Bell and snack up. If you're married or living with someone, though, you sorta have to explain why you're getting up and putting clothes on and leaving the house in the middle of the night. Plus, you're probably obligated to at least ask if they want you to bring them anything. Or, you could even feel inclined to ignore the aforementioned taco craving altogether, so as to avoid the uncomfortable dialogue with your significant other. (Especially if the two of you share the same bed, and you are craving bean burritos.)

Second: In the comments, please use the following items in a sentence or two: Alligators, Andy Dick, BBQ ribs.

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18 comments:

Shelly said...

Like most alligators, Andy Dick likes BBQ ribs.

DutchBitch said...

When the aligator gulped up the BBQ-ed ribs he had just snatched from Fab's porch, he noticed they kinda tasted like Andi Dick, whom he had devowered the week before.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator named andy dick by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the 'gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed.

In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The 'gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.

The 'gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.

'I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.'

then they all ate some barbeque ribs.

the end

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Al E. Gator needed to fix his flaccid unit so he had a couple ribs implanted, andy dick was fine as long as he rubbed it with BBQ sauce.

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

That was fun, again Aunt Janna, again!

Mo said...

When Alex did an Everglades autopsy on CSI: Miami, she found Andy Dick in the stomach of an alligator. When she did Andy's autopsy, she found remnants of BBQ Ribs. When the BBQ Ribs were sent to DNA, they discovered that they were human ribs and Andy Dick's Cannibal BBQ Shack and Gator Corral was shut down permanently, much to Janna's everlasting chagrin.

Janna said...

Shelly: Don't we all! :)

Dutchy: That'll teach Fab to leave BBQ ribs on his porch....

Bee: Nice! I'd forgotten all about that joke!

GoingLikeSixty: Well, most dicks ARE fine if you rub them with BBQ sauce. There are a few that like honey mustard instead.

Morgen: Damn! I still have some leftover coupons from them, too...

Meloncutter said...

You know, it is 3:15, (actually 2:15 with the friggin time change) in the friggin morning and you want me to write a sentence about ANDY FRIGGIN DICK, FRIGGIN ALLIGATORS AND FRIGGIN BBQ RIBS IN A FRIGGIN SENTENCE?

Well just bite my alligator textured, BBQ rib shaped Andy Dick!

There.

Don't do this to me so early in the morning when I ain't had enough coffee yet.

So there.

Later Y'all.

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Alligator textured AND rib-shaped? So, would that qualify as "Ribbed, for her pleasure?" :)

Travis said...

Andy Dick kept trying to steal my BBQ ribs, so I fed the stupid prick to my alligators.

Wait...you got tacos again and you didn't tell me?!?!?!?!

Steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...

Alligators, Andy Dick, BBQ Ribs...two items I've eaten and one I wouldn't go near--you guess which is which.

Janna said...

Travis: I couldn't help it! All I could think about was a steak soft taco, smothered in fiery hot sauce, sprinkled with yummy cheddary cheesy goodness.... I was sucked into the void! (And it was delicious!)

Janna said...

Steve: So, how did Andy taste?

Gwenhwyfar said...

Aw, was I deleted?

Janna said...

Gwen: Huh? Oh, wait, you mean the one above? No, that was Steve's... he accidentally posted the same comment twice. Then he went back and deleted one of them himself. I had nothing to do with any of it, I swear! :)

Marilyn said...

I was going to comment about how I hat that I can't make myself a fricking cup of tea without everybody in the house thinking I should make them one also, but then I saw that I'd have to work alligators, Andy Dick, and BBQ ribs in there and decided against it.

Janna said...

Marilyn: Are you making a cup of tea? Gosh, that sounds good. Will you make me one too?