Friday, March 28, 2008

Full Moon Over Michigan

I have a couple pairs of pants that have gotten too big for me. I'd like to think it's because I may have lost weight, but who knows. Maybe the textile fairies come at night and stretch everything out while I'm asleep.
I wore one of those pairs today.
I'd forgotten just how bad they are until I started walking around. Every couple minutes I'd have to reach down and tug on my pants to pull them up. Within minutes, they'd start creeping back down.
I visited my mom today, and then I went shopping for a couple things (milk, bottled water, fruit) on my way home. In the store, I again kept having to pull my pants up every couple minutes. I'm sure it looked tacky, but trust me, it looked less tacky than an impromptu appearance of my naked butt in the produce aisle.
Anyway, I drove on home, got out of the car, and gathered my groceries together. As I started walking to the front door, I realized my pants were slipping again... fast. And my hands were full of grocery bags, so I couldn't reach down and pull them up.
Neither could I bend down to put the bags on the ground, because that would surely make the pants slip on down past my butt.
So it became a race against the inevitable, with me making a beeline for the door, and my pants making a beeline for the center of the Earth.
There was a blizzard going on at the time, and I could start to feel the cold winds whoosh against the top of my butt. Thank goodness I had a long coat on, or those snowflakes would been a lot more "noticeable".
By the time I got to the door, my butt was half covered.
The moment I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, my pants finally fell the rest of the way, taking my underwear with them. There I was, groceries in hand, mooning my cats.
So, have you ever put groceries away, with your pants around your ankles?
It's very liberating.
.

19 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

honestly? no. mine are too tight! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wayne said...

I think that's why they make belts isn't it?

Desert Songbird said...

Thank goodness you were at home. Sheesh!

I recently had to dig out a belt to wear with my pants. I didn't think I even owned one!

Lynda said...

hahahahahaha!

I take off my pants when I get home. That would just speed up the process.

But your underpants too? Time for new clothes?

Natalie said...

I think you need some new pants

Marilyn said...

I want my pants to be too big. It has been a very long time since I've needed a belt.

Tenacious B said...

That's the only way I do it, babe.

Mine are constantly falling too. Not because they're too big, but because I suffer from a rare congenital disease, Noassatall.
I have broken belt loops on just about every pair of jeans from the tugging.

and btw, where are the pics of said moon, dammit?

the teach said...

There are also suspenders too, Janna! This way you can keep the pants but don't have to worry. Do you know what the Brits call "suspenders"? Braces, Ha! :-(=)

Trukindog said...

Umm I've taken groceries out of the frig with my pants and unders around my ankles...does that count?

Tug said...

You're right - this DID make me laugh! ;-) Couple questions though...
If you can open your door, can't you pull your pants up with that same hand?
With each 'tug' of the pants, did you think of me?

LOL

Indigo said...

I couldn't resist dropping by :) Have a nice weekend!

Mo said...

I think Honeynut is blind now!

Janna said...

Bee: Usually mine are too! Just not lately, somehow!

Wayne: Alas, these pants aren't made for belts.

DesertSongbird: I was barely at home! I'd JUST made it in the front door!

Lynda: Well... new pants, anyway... care to contribute to the cause?

Natalie: Possibly!

Marilyn: I usually don't wear belts at all, ever! I can't even remember the last time. Seriously, it might have been high school. (20 years ago.... *gasp*)

TenaciousB: I graciously decided to spare the blogosphere from seeing pictures of the event. That and the fact that my cats still haven't figured out how to work a camera.

Teach: I would look horrendous in suspenders! But it WOULD be fun to call them braces. :)

Trukindog: Just a sec, lemme consult with the jury... .. YES, yes, it does count!

Tug: Both my hands were full of grocery bags. They were the plastic kind, and I was able to sort of let them hang while I opened the door. So, um, no, couldn't pull the pants up. :( I wish I had been thinking of you, Tug, but mostly I was just hoping the neighbors wouldn't end up seeing my bare naked ass. Thank goodness for that long coat!!!

Indigo: Hey there! Welcome!

Morgen: Surprisingly, she has made a full recovery!

Teri said...

that was hysterical!

Travis said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha

Gwenhwyfar said...

That immediately made me think of this... http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/bluebus2.jpg
Although, to be honest, it made me think of that guy's whole collection.

Janna said...

Teri: I'm glad!

Travis: Hee hee!

Gwen: Really? I'll have to check him out... I'm hoping eagerly that it's a GOOD thing I reminded you of somebody...

Janna said...

Gwen: LOL!! I just looked at the JPG... It's perfect; she's holding the groceries and everything!

Gwenhwyfar said...

hahaha... did you flip through the whole collection. This guy would have been so turned on by your predicament.