Full Moon Over Michigan

I have a couple pairs of pants that have gotten too big for me. I'd like to think it's because I may have lost weight, but who knows. Maybe the textile fairies come at night and stretch everything out while I'm asleep.
I wore one of those pairs today.
I'd forgotten just how bad they are until I started walking around. Every couple minutes I'd have to reach down and tug on my pants to pull them up. Within minutes, they'd start creeping back down.
I visited my mom today, and then I went shopping for a couple things (milk, bottled water, fruit) on my way home. In the store, I again kept having to pull my pants up every couple minutes. I'm sure it looked tacky, but trust me, it looked less tacky than an impromptu appearance of my naked butt in the produce aisle.
Anyway, I drove on home, got out of the car, and gathered my groceries together. As I started walking to the front door, I realized my pants were slipping again... fast. And my hands were full of grocery bags, so I couldn't reach down and pull them up.
Neither could I bend down to put the bags on the ground, because that would surely make the pants slip on down past my butt.
So it became a race against the inevitable, with me making a beeline for the door, and my pants making a beeline for the center of the Earth.
There was a blizzard going on at the time, and I could start to feel the cold winds whoosh against the top of my butt. Thank goodness I had a long coat on, or those snowflakes would been a lot more "noticeable".
By the time I got to the door, my butt was half covered.
The moment I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, my pants finally fell the rest of the way, taking my underwear with them. There I was, groceries in hand, mooning my cats.
So, have you ever put groceries away, with your pants around your ankles?
It's very liberating.
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